Shag-alot, or Lying-hjelm?

Now in the hands of the lawyers, time will soon tell whether David Leyonhjelm’s insinuations about Sarah Hanson Young – being both promiscuous with men (yes, a slut) and simultaneously a hater of them (yes, a misandrist) – have any basis in fact.

Having since considered the matter carefully, however, Leyonhjelm’s allegations seem to me now to be totally absurd, a complete contradiction in terms. Because, taken together with her parliamentary remarks, as I understand it,  SHY/Shagalot (you be the judge) is suffering from some kind of sexual, cognitive dissonance whereby she is more than happy to be screwed by those who she hates and believes to be consummate rapists (all men). So, I don’t buy it for one moment.

Unless, of course, her (alleged) extra-curricular activities serve some sort of ulterior motive. For example, one that is carefully contrived – and I’m speculating here – to couple her sound, Green credentials with a warm-hearted, forgiving and generous, open-legs policy towards men – regardless of their alleged crimes – in order  to make her more popular with male voters.

The problem is, for the 90% remaining sensible part of the population, that would make her out to be a shameless slut. A shameless slut, prone to mouthing hysterical gibberish at taxpayers’ expense every time she stands up in Parliament. But my lawyers tell me to say that I don’t buy that one either.

I’ll leave it up to the courts to decide, but my guess is that Leyonhjelm’s going to be suddenly short of a few quid sometime soon ….
Or, WILL he …?

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Posted in David Leyonhjelm, Sarah Hanson-Young, Shagalot, Shy | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Rally For The ABC


Kerry O’Brien
‘Crusty, old has-been’?
(Yes.)

Off to Sunday’s rally in support of the ABC, just for a laugh and to gloat over its demise. But without the necessary crypto-commie credentials, infiltrating the enemy’s camp was never going to be easy. Agreed, simply sporting a ‘F**k Donald Trump’ T-Shirt and a stupid grin on my face would have gained me instant access (as well as a doctorate in Fascist Studies at any Aussie uni. these days, come to think of it). In the end, though I just loitered around the entrance until the opportunity to slip in undetected came when Magda Szubanski’s arrival at the doors resulted in a brief solar-eclipse.

Packed to the rafters with the usual luvvies, humourless commissars, Stalinists, etc. Victimhood and denial, as expected, was the order of the day, for – joy o joy – the only tax-payer funded member of the tyrannical troika, the one which effectively rules this country  – the others being The Guardian and the SMH) is under siege.

Appearing for the ABC’s collective defence were some of the usual collective’s detritus: that old phony, Phillip Adams, that feminist loony-tune, Eva Cox and crusty, old has-been, Kerry O’Brien. Others less contemptuous included broadcaster Robyn Williams, Hugo Weaving, Benita Collings and Julian Morrow, as well as (still resembling an old garden gnome that’s been repeatedly urinated upon by someone’s pet Borzhoi) Schindler’s List author, Tom Keneally.

O’Brien gets up to speak, droning on monotonously for quite some time in that stupid Gillard-esque nasal tone of his. Aggrieved, appalled, offended, appealing for support. Smug and entirely unfunny, lefty-pinko and out-and-out pseud, Phillip Adams, has the unmitigated gall to call upon conservatives – of all people – to help save the ABC’s neck. This, after conservatives themselves have been the continuous butt of Adam’s pseudo-intellectual ridicule for some 30 years.

Others take turns, having a whinge in their own, ideologically lefty way. Sad, pathetic and enormously funny.

Adams claims that these were “dark times” and that the ABC is under attack by the Liberal Party, NewsCorp, the IPA, fascists, little green men, cup-cakes … No mention that over 90% of the population loathe him and his ridiculous show. In the old days most educated Aussies dismissed Adams as ‘that big, commie pooftah’. These PC days,  just calling him a c*** before immediately switching him off is all they can do.

Szubanski, great comedienne that she is, vapidly called the ABC the “soul” of the nation, with many genuinely surprised to find yet another idiot in the room.

Finally, O’Brien (assuming any conservatives listening to be quite stupid too) pleads for further government scrutiny not to be driven by “political prejudice or ideology.” As though the progressive freak-show that this commie-collective has been shoving down Aussie throats at tax-payers’ expense for the past few decades is not ideological and not prejudiced.

More whinge-fests planned across Australia in the coming weeks. Can’t wait.

Given all this, a fair observer of the proceedings could only conclude one thing, and one thing only. And that is, if Michelle Guthrie, ABC head-honcho, had an ounce of integrity she would (metaphorically speaking) do the decent thing and discreetly withdraw to the back room somewhere, draw the curtains, then take out a revolver and quietly blow the ABC’s collective brains out. Sensible people know that that is the least she can do for the country.

Posted in ABC, Kerry O'Brien, Mad Muzzie Maglied, Magda Szubanski, Phillip Adams, Thomas Keneally | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lionheart Vs Shag-alot

David Leyonhjelm’s allegations that Sarah Hanson Young is just a common slut after all may be just too much to take for some. Particularly in parliamentary circles, where it would appear that dozens, if not thousands of our political class – if the accusations prove to be true –  have been fooling themselves into thinking that they were the only ones on Sarah’s f**k list.

They’d already would have had to put aside SHY’s complicity in the deaths of 1200 illegals in order to secretly get their rocks off with her. Now, the revelation (rumour?) that she’s probably been eagerly at it – behind their backs – shagging everyone else around town, would be truly humiliating, as well as totally willy-wilting.

But much worse for many, though, would be the realisation that as she hypocritically shagged each one of them, all the time actively running through her mind was the supreme idiocy that ‘all men are rapists’.

Or, not?
Perhaps SHY screams this hysteria out at her partners regularly during coitus? As part of some kinky love banter of hers –  and in parliament the other day she just forgot where the hell she was. Like, am I in Parliament today drawing an enormous salary while f***ing up the country, or am I on my back f***ing Clive Palmer again?

But perhaps this was an invention, just another one of Leyonhjelm’s weird, libertarian sex-fantasies? This one, coincidentally (one presumes) just happening to involve a hysterical, emotionally disturbed and rather loose, some say sluttish, “let-them-all-f***ing-in!”, Open-Borders (as well as your Legs) advocate. A sex-pot, dubbed by someone in the media*, ‘Shagalot’.

No doubt the truth soon will out.

***********************************

*Me

Posted in David Leyonhjelm, Sarah Hanson-Young | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Philosophy Exams


Kerry Cronin

Boston College philosophy professor Kerry Cronin is now rewarding her philosophy students extra PHD credits if they ask someone out on a date, where there will be no alcohol or physical contact. That is, instead of immediately shagging each other on sight, as is their want these days, Cronin wants to reward millennials for first engaging in an intelligent conversation over a cup of coffee beforehand. (Then going at it, presumably.)

This  is an entirely brilliant idea which would need only a little tweaking if it were to be adopted in our current Australian, predominantly lefty, sexually-depraved, philosophy departments.

For it to work here, my guess is that most Aussie professors would need to stipulate a prior list of lefty-approved candidates, with clear-cut, politically-correct choices to be made about them, such as:
1. Immediately shag?
2. Engage in an intelligent conversation? Or,
3. Do both simultaneously?

It goes without saying that the candidates list would be exclusively composed of commies and their similarly ideologically-depraved counterparts.

Top of the list for credit points would be of course be people like Waleed Aly, Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews, blubbering (but still quite pokable) Sarah Hanson Young, Peter Fitzsimons, Roz Ward (transgender, “Safe-Schools” architect and full-time sicko) and an assorted range of ridiculous, Muzzie ‘columnists’ who write rubbish for the Guardian. And any old race-commissioner with a very silly and unpronounceable surname, say, who is being booted out in August, say, leaving us without a scintilla of evidence that suggests he might have been a closet-queen all along.
(Say.)

Bonus credit if the student manages to keep a straight face (and not burst out into hysterical laughter) while discussing illegal boat-arrivals with SHY.

Triple credits for any students who manages option ‘3’ – ‘Do both simultaneously’ – with AbdelMaglied WITHOUT the aid of alcohol, ear-plugs or a blindfold. And for never once in the entire 2 minutes telling her to “shut the f**k up.”

The full PHD if you can precisely identify exactly what sex Daniel Andrews is, postcoitus.

 What more can I say?

Posted in Daniel Andrews, Peter Fitzsimons, Roz Ward, Sarah Hanson-Young, Tim Il Sung, Tim Soutphommasane, Waleed Aly, Yassmin Abdel-Magied | Leave a comment

Guardian Fiction


Ruby Hamad
‘Non-practising’*

It’s been a busy week for the Guardian’s anti-whitey brigade. Of course they are always at it, but this week got a little less subtle and much more venomous than we are usually accustomed to. First we had a wide-ranging, all-out assault on our identity from that deeply-disturbed, lefty-fruit-loop writer, Richard Flanagan, in his address to the National Press Club.

Apart from attacking (among other things) our involvement in WW1, Anzac Day, Tony Abbott, secure-borders, Islamophobia and the nation’s apparent simple-mindedness he apparently seemed especially miffed about 21st century Australia’s refusal to give it all up and “go Abo”. Recalling all that ridiculous, seemingly endless indigenous prancing about at the Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony, I can’t help but think that this otherwise highly-esteemed dickhead writer has now lost his mind completely. Either that, or Flanagan’s become an early adopter of The Green’s program to have us all sitting around and doing nothing in the future but playing the didgeridoo, hugging trees and smoking pot.

————————-

Subsequently re-printed in The Guardian (no surprises there), Flanagan’s blatherings (for that is what they are) were followed with more rabid trash being splattered about in the pages of the same dirty little rag, this time by another Guardianista, the ‘non-practising muzzie’* head-case, Ruby Hamad.

Just because the women contestants kicked off the very stupid TV reality show My Kitchen Rules happened to be a couple of ethnic mates of hers, Hamad on Friday launched into another screaming onslaught on mainstream – read, ‘whitey’ – Australia as a whole. Shrill and angry, she screams that the two contestants’ behaviour conformed just too closely to the Hollywood image of Arabs: “ … heartless, brutal, uncivilized, religious fanatics … and demonstrating a love for wealth and power,” – and there just had to be some other reason to explain why they were so appalling and consequently given the boot.

Hamad’s conclusion?
In the service of degrading “… Arabs while affirming western (yes, I mean “white”) intellectual and cultural superiority,” Hamad claims that the Arab contestants must have been following whitey’s TV script. That is, that their behaviour was complete fiction. That the women weren’t just being their true, repulsive, hateful and half-demented selves at all, but in fact only acting repulsive, only acting hateful, only acting half-demented.

Let me come up with a similar fiction about ‘non-practising’ muzzie racist, Ruby Hamad. That the term ‘brainless-idiot’, or even ‘lying-Arab’ rarely crosses her non-practising mind every time she reads her own work.

And another complete fiction.
And that is (given her anti-Western bile) Hamad’s claim that she doesn’t continue to secretly bang her head on the floor, regularly, five times a day along with the rest of them.

********************************

* So she claims … 🙂

Posted in Richard Flanagan, Ruby Hamad, The Guardian | 1 Comment

Vacancies: Team Australia

Peter Dutton
Making Australia Whi…, I mean, Right Again

An unlimited number of Team Australia vacancies have suddenly opened for successful applicants and their families who fit any of the following criteria :

– Sound, skilled and well-educated; of European heritage, with a reputation for having a strong work-ethic, dependability and a track record of high achievement.
– Made of stern stuff, salt-of-the-earth, morally upright, etc, and share Australia’s core, non-lefty-commie values and keen to integrate and knuckle down to make a positive contribution to Australia because some fuckers just stole your farm.
– Candidates ideally will be of European heritage and able to demonstrate a high-degree of proficiency in English, or at least speak it with an accent that sounds vaguely like that Gert Wilders guy.

Immediate Visa
Some bastards just raped your daughters and murdered your grandmother.

Well-regarded But Not Essential
Successful candidates will know that lager and laager are not the same thing, enjoy cricket and are willing to forgive and forget us for playing around with our balls a little in public, and really like to watch endless reruns of ‘Zulu’ too.

Come right over!
– Any white person from South Africa who the Antifa muzzie-luvvin’ commies, Richard di Natale or that very stupid Nick McKim say we shouldn’t let in.

NOTE: Candidates with PHDs in Gender Studies, Queer Theory, White Privilege or any other such perversities need not apply, no matter how white you are.

Yes, I think that just about covers it.
Applications to Peter Dutton (PM in Waiting)

…………………………………………..

Posted in Antifa, Nick McKim, Peter Dutton, Richard di Natale, South African Refugees | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Imbecile Non Grata

Yassmin Abdel-Magied
“Stupid”

On the face of it, the news that Yassmin Abdel-Muzzie Magied being deported from the US makes a lot of sense and should be widely applauded. Something needs to be clarified, however, before we stand up and cheer widely, no matter how tempting. Namely, the grounds for her eviction.

Was YAM really thrown out because of a visa irregularity, or were there other underlying reasons that the Americans authorities won’t publicly admit to?

The first that comes to mind of course is the most self-evident. That YAM is clearly a blithering idiot and the US has just too many of its own home-grown ones to deal with these days – so why let in one more? And a visa violation would be a good way to avoid having to officially notify her of the real reason she is being rejected from entering the US (Immigration Act, Section 3, Clause IV, Subpara.2: ‘Gross stupidity’)

Then there is the possibility that she’s been recognised by the Trump administration as a complete and utter fraud: i.e., yet another Jihadist feigning mental-deficiency as an excuse for attacking and undermining civilisation and being let off scott-free. Given her past lunatic rantings and half-crazed tweets, I think this is the most convincing explanation. It would stand up to close scrutiny in any reasonable court of law (especially with someone like me presiding) with there being little doubt that a jury’s decision for YAM to bugger off back to the total shit-hole where she was born would be unanimous.
A water-tight case.

Additional circumstantial evidence could be presented, if it were needed. For instance, that shit-hole country (Sudan) where she was born is rich pickings for our own, scandalously tax-payer funded ABC’s ideological perversions. The kind of place where they conduct regular bottom-feed trawls, looking for ideal candidates like YAM to gush and slobber over and to throw money at, and to star on the Monday-night freak-show that is Q&A, along with that poisonous little closet-queen that runs it.

Mere association with the ABC would be proof enough of the danger she poses to any sane society. Perhaps someone submitted a video of one YAM’s appearances to ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) in advance of her US visit. A cursory glance and any law-abiding, upstanding member of the American community would have enough justification to declare YAM persona non grata, and to have her idiotic, POC (read: stupid, black) Muslim ass thrown out of the country with all speed.

The only down-side to all of this of course is that she will be immediately lauded by the equally-imbecilic Australian Left as another ‘victim of Trump’s racist America’ This might encourage he to scurry back from her London rat-hole to receive a lefty-heroine’s welcome, the very thought of which is ultra vomit-inducing. Maybe best for the Americans to let her in after all.

******************************

*POC – People of Colour. Read, black.

Posted in ABC, Q&A, Yassmin Abdel-Magied | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Backbone

Jim Molan

A craven apology from Adam Bandt was not better than none at all. Much more preferable – at least to people from my neck of the woods – would have been seeing this excrement’s Green ass fully sued by Jim Molan, resulting in a gaol sentence, or a heavy fine at least. Though my guess is that prison would have turned out ideal for Bandt (the opportunities to accidentally drop the soap during, say, a 5 year stretch, would have been endless), but the prospect of financial bankruptcy might not have been so rosy. Hence the quick, snivelling capitulation.

Attacking dragon-slayers like Jim Molan using parliamentary immunity, however, still remains the Left’s best option. Di Natale loudly condemning Molan as an Islamophobe who DARES to post videos depicting everyday Muslims going about their everyday lives (i.e., punching women and throwing gays off roofs, etc) was enough to warm the cockles of most Muslim’s hearts.  Further, it would have helped to distract the infidels’ minds from what they really have in store for us should Di Natale and his party of Green, open-border idiots eventually get their way.

Denouncing Molan as a war-criminal for successfully crushing the Fallujah jihadist stronghold is also revealing. Let’s face it, for many on the Left, the victory must have been devastating, heartbreaking almost. And Di Natale’s seething anger at the outcome is obvious.

But his completely phony ‘war-criminal’ accusation against Moran under parliamentary privilege was more than an act of frustration, more than of anger at seeing the good guys (non-Muslim) win yet again. It also underscored Di Natale’s fear of people with any amount of backbone whatsoever being elected to political power.

What the Left and their islamist allies are afraid of is that military veterans like Jim Molan and Andrew Hastie might (unlike some of their namby-pamby parliamentary collegues) finally convince Australians that the only way to deal with militant Islam is to be absolutely ruthless with it, to take no prisoners.
That’s what really scares them.

Posted in Adam Bandt, Andrew Hastie, Fallujah, Islamism, Jim Molan, Muslims, Richard "Dr Death" Natale, Richard di Natale | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fatty-Fatty Kill Joy


Lauren Rosewarne (centre) and other queer people

Dear Diary,

Today I asked myself, “What good can I do in the world if I look like a small hippo?”
So many people I see on the telly, who look like me have gone ahead and done something constructive in their lives despite being ‘large‘. How can I get over my full-sized, dyke-like figure and earn great wads of cash at the same time?

I mean, in Australia, there are people like Marise Paine, Kim Beazley and Amanda Vanstone, all of whom at different times ignored having a tub of lard for an ass to make it to the top. Then there is Gina Rinehart and the always-merry Clive ‘Godzilla-Gut’ Palmer who have hauled ass (big-time) all over the country so as to give a lot of people work and earn billions for the country. Not to mention the bubbly Rebel Wilson (she always makes me giggle) and that really funny Melissa McCarthy in the US, and the hilarious Roseanne Barr and John ‘Jumbo-Bum’ Goodman … So many successful fatties, how can I be like them?

Sucks to be me.
Lauren
P.S. But, diary, I don’t want to have to try to lose weight or start wearing a stupid burka. It HAS to be easy.

…………………………………..

Dear Diary,

Today I’ve discovered the answer!!!
And it was from Gillian Triggs herself. She tells me to just get any old stupid degree in some sort of pseudo-social science scam, then apply for a job at the University of Melbourne where they employ thousands of other similarly useless people with similarly useless qualifications. There, they would be happy to pay me a six-figure salary just to sit around on my fat arse all day devising new ways to make everyone else in Australia miserable, like Gillian once did in HR.
That should do it!

Lauren

…………………………………..

Dear Diary,

Exciting news!
I just got a call from Gillian again who gave me a great idea for my PHD thesis.
I could  just cobble together some wacko, post-modernist theories to justify a fat dyke completely ruining the lives and income of hundreds of pretty women at Formula One and Darts events across Australia. You know who I mean, diary: the ones who dare enjoy themselves by walking about wiggling their pretty little, non-lard-like asses all day entertaining mostly male, heterosexual white-bastards.
Now there’s an idea!

If successful, she says, I’ll double my salary. But only if I keep someone she mysteriously refers to as ‘that faerie’ in the Race Commissioners Office happy by making sure no minorities lose their jobs in the process.
Terrific!

Thanks diary! Thanks Gillian!
Lauren

**************************************

Posted in Clive Palmer, Gillian Triggs, Gina Rinehart, Lauren Rosewarne, Tim Il Sung | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Bankrupting BDS Babes

Justine Sachs and Nadia Abu-Shanab
BDS cuties

Good news that the Israeli legal rights group Shurat HaDin is going after a couple of New Zealander BDS feather-brains who helped convince Lorde to cancel her Tel Aviv gig, then were stupid enough to brag about it on social media. Justine Sachs and Nadia Abu-Shanab (above) are being sued under Israel’s 2011 anti-boycott legislation and we can only hope they get their just comeuppance, no matter how sweet they may look.

Bad news is if they are found guilty they’ll only face relatively small financial penalties. More fitting, and a little excessive, I agree, given how hot at least one of them looks, would have been to just take the two of them out with the nearest drone. Admittedly more over the top, but, let’s face it, far more exciting, would have been to follow Israel’s PM Golda Meir’s brilliant idea after the Munich massacre in 1972 to hire Eric Bana to hunt the terrorists down and pick them off in the streets, one by one.

Taking them out in Auckland or wherever, of course, would be far more spectacular and satisfying than Shurat HaDin trying to bankrupt Sachs and Abu-Shanab, but unfortunately such otherwise perfectly reasonable methods are no longer considered politically correct. Additionally, ex-Kiwi Russel Crowe tells me that new female PM they’ve got over there now (who I was told is unfortunately very ugly, like Helen Clark, but still somehow managed to get pregnant, so it can’t be true) would object to her citizens being shot on the streets for no other reason than that she’d then have to suffer a lot of awful foul-breathed Palestinians screaming, ranting and raving at her for the rest of her tenure, which I wouldn’t want to wish on anyone.

Posted in BDS, Helen Clark, Israel, Jacinda Ardern | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment