August 25, 2019

Image result for benjamin lawBenjamin Law

ALLOWING OUR UNIVERSITIES TO BE OVERRUN by Chinese hordes is a good thing, according to Minister for Education, Dan Tehan, but I’m not convinced.

The least concerning is that the majority of them readily confess on camera to being members of China’s secret police. What troubles me more is that many bear more than a passing resemblance to Benjamin Law, the repulsive, hate-rape advocate and the ABC’s preferred source of depraved content for its depraved children’s programs.

As ASIO has recently revealed that the ABC is using our university campuses as recruiting grounds for its perverse agenda to indoctrinate our children, it’s time for action.
However, I’m not sure what to do.

I can only remember how MI5 dealt with the problem of Russian spies running riot on Oxbridge campuses in the 1960s. According to Margaret Thatcher’s memoirs, MI5’s solution was to “round up all those queer-people, strap electrodes to their goolies, and the confessions come thick and fast.”

I don’t know how ASIO interrogating Benjamin Law in this way will help disrupt ABC’s sources of perversity, particularly as he was born in Nambour. But I really think it would be worth the effort. For entertainment value. at least.

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Posted in ABC, Benjamin Law, China, Margaret Thatcher | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

August 23, 2019


The Antichrist cast-down

THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS commemorating the expulsion of the great Antichrist from the reins of power and the glorious accession of Scott Morrison to the highest office are already reaching fever pitch. Across the nation, as the momentous day approaches, the bunting is out, bands are playing and neighbourhood street parties are in full swing. At the appointed hour, church bells will be rung nation-wide as a grateful Australia stops to pause, and to remember, just how close they came to being led down the road to a socialist hell.

To cement this extraordinary moment in the annals of history, I’ve messaged ScoMo requesting the 24th August be declared a national holiday. In the interests of the nation, I anticipate a positive response.

Still, the howling, weeping and the gnashing of Leftist teeth continues unabated. Which serves as a reminder to resend to the PM my (post-election) list of Turnbull’s co-conspirators yet to be hunted down, rounded up and shot. That it includes the entirety of the Labor Party’s front bench, a few worthless Greenies, an idiot in a red bandana and the entire readership of The Guardian, still seems to faze him, somewhat.

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Posted in Malcolm Turnbull, ScoMo, Scott Morrison | Tagged , | 1 Comment

August 20, 2019

Image result for meghan and harry
Harry and Meghan

THE PLANET IN A DEATH SPIRAL, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge lie awake at night, tossing and turning, agonising over the terrible everyday sacrifices they have to make to continue with the facade that they are not just a pair of self-righteous, virtue-signalling hypocrites.

Agreeing to cease fornicating after their second child was a watershed moment. As was their decision to cut their private Lear-Jet flights to Elton John’s mansion in Castel Mont-Alban down to twice a week. Likewise,  flights to Ibiza for Meghan’s birthday celebrations, a tearful Meghan agrees, could be cut to just one per year. Ditto for all the Royal couple’s flights to the thousands of totally useless climate-change events around the world. One return flight to each, “maximum”, Harry nods. “But what about seeing Al, and Bono and Leo?” Meghan cries. “They can go and fuck themselves,” I suggest, and Harry agrees to that too.

To the question of taking regular flights like everyone else, where Harry and Meghan might find themselves sitting opposite just an ordinary bloke, such as that madman Jeremy Corbyn chanting ‘Death to the blood-sucking sycophants” the entire trip, they were a bit evasive. “The smell of the man would be the worst part,” they agreed, finally.

The Queen (no, Elizabeth, silly, not Elton), in her great wisdom, told Harry that the energy from burning all the trashy magazines Meghan edits, such as Vogue, could save China from building 5,000 new coal-fired power stations this year alone.

And as for her wacko son,  Prince Philip (himself, not dealing with a full deck) exclaims: “If Charles would stop dancing, chanting voodoo and burning incense around that Thunberg effigy of his all day and get back to talking to plants again, the planet might return to normal.”

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Posted in Elton John, Greta Thunberg, Harry and Meghan, Jeremy Corbyn, Prince Philip, The Queen | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

August 18, 2019

Image result for kevin rudd
Rudd – Stupid Look

DANIEL ANDREWS’ WEIRD smile reminded me of Gillard’s description of the stupid look on Rudd’s face every time he came out of his private, ‘Think Tank’ room. According to Gillard’s memoirs, far from formulating Labor’s ‘Big Picture’ Policy as he claimed, she suspected he was just having a big wank, and points to the policies Rudd subsequently came up with as proof positive.

Damning evidence that this may be, (‘Shanghai Sam’) Dastyari offers an interesting variant to Gillard’s argument. Dastyari claims that, when Rudd has that completely stupid look on his dial, he’s almost certainly been thinking about all those billions of Chinese women MSS* handlers promised him he will be free to root once they take over.

Whatever the truth about Rudd – Beijing mole, or just a big wanker – only time will tell.

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* (Chinese) Ministry of State Security

Posted in Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Sam Dastyari, Shanghai Sam | Leave a comment

August 17, 2019

Image result for daniel andrews mosqueBendigo Muck-raking

INTERVIEW with the great leader of the Socialist Republic of Victoria, researching tax-fraud. Normally Andrews refuses any audiences with white, heterosexual-normative males who think he’s a complete idiot but a quick flash of my pocket Koran to security and I’m swiftly ushered in.

There, he angrily asks me what the fuck do I want to see him about?
I nervously flip through my notebook. In answer to the first question, of his success in swindling the electorate to vote for him twice in a row, I get this horrible blood-curdling laugh and he says he just can’t wait to do it again.
Next!

Secondly, the Bendigo mosque. The Premier smacks his hands together in glee, shouting ‘Ah!’ before smiling at me weirdly, a strangely satisfied look on his face.

I continue.
How, I ask, does Andrews square the Bendigo mosque go-ahead with Victoria signing up to the Chinese One Belt One Road Initiative? Wasn’t it a pre-condition of Victoria’s surrender to Beijing that, as in Xinjiang, all Muslims were to be immediately rounded up and sterilised to extinction? Doesn’t that mean, therefore, that the mosque is a complete and utterly fraudulent waste of tax-payers’ money? And that we should all be given a refund, forthwith?

The meeting suddenly over, on my way out (on my arse) I manage to hand him one of Phil Nitschke’s cards. Something I do after my meetings with all great socialist leaders. Out of compassion.

Posted in Daniel Andrews, Dr Philip Nitschke, One Belt One Road Initiative | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

August 16, 2019

Image result for jacinda ardern

POOR JACINDA. Why anyone gives this hideous woman any exposure, let alone pay any attention to the rubbish that comes out of her mouth is anybody’s guess. Perhaps it’s the sympathy people have for her absurd belief that she should be taken seriously.

Dr. Nitshke once pointed to her readiness to virtue-signal at every opportunity as evidencing some sort of hysteria, and recommended… (some thing or another.) Things like giving birth in high office, then bandying the very noticeably ugly baby about in front of the world’s press; grovelling to political Islam by donning a silly hijab and affecting remorse; dumping the nation’s criminals on Australia, only to have them shipped right back again; talking absolute shit.

All these things are the acts of a hysterical female PM desperately seeking relevance, which she so spectacularly lacks.

Tuvalu’s PM, Enele Sopoaga, once told me that such ‘touched’ women are called Bu-tu-bu-lu (Roughly, ‘idiot woman’) in the local Tuvaluan tongue and they used to be humanely bashed over the head and thrown into the nearest volcano.
Or else, eaten.

With the coming of Christianity all that has long been forgotten, he said. Nowadays, such women are left to babble away incoherently at totally useless forums foisted on Tuvaluans by the white man, while the rest of the women slip away with the men to nearby forests where they can fornicate incessantly without being disturbed.

Posted in Enele Sopoaga, Tuvalu | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

August 15, 2019

Beijing Bob

WATCHING THE FOOTAGE on TV as China’s PLA converges on Hong Kong, lining up for the kill, my thoughts  go out to the strangely silent Bob Carr. The amount of fawning, sickening praise he’s heaped upon Beijing over the years must be now causing him to squirm about somewhat, I would have thought. Especially after Hasting’s damning report about the true nature of China’s intentions and the dilemma Australia suddenly finds itself in.

Is this arch Sino-sycophant’s noticeable silence due to a sudden regret about having his nose permanently stuck up President Xi’s arse for so long? A tinge of guilt for continuously grovelling at the feet of the Beijing dictatorship just in order to be lavishly feted everywhere he went?

Or is Bob more worried about the new EU food label demands and how they might affect his image of cultivated intellectual and bon-viveur – and f**k everything else?

Does he not give a flying toss about the likelihood of Australia being turned into a Chinese vassal state in the very near future? Or is Bob prepared to sell us out, just as he did Israel in 2017 when he suddenly decided to switch his allegiances to a bunch of Palestinian terrorists?

Come on Bob, speak up.

Posted in Beijing Bob, Bob Carr, Palestinians, Xi Jinping | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

August 14, 2019

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Behrouz Boochani

DISAPPOINTING NEWS yesterday from the National Biography Awards. The prize this year goes to Kurdish illegal-refugee and con-artist Behrouz Boochani for what amounts to a totally bullshit depiction of his life of Manus Island, No Friend But The Mountains: Writing from Manus. In this slanderous biography, Boochani viciously depicts Manus as some sort of ‘refugee hell-hole,’ instead of painting it as the island paradise we all have learnt to know and love (courtesy of ScoMo and Peter Dutton).

Boochani’s win means the utter brilliance of Clive Palmer’s epic page-turner (and therefore my ghost-writing), Much Rumpy-Pumpy After Dark: Tales of The Senate Floor With You Know Who, continues to go unrecognised. It also means, sadly, that the $25,000 prize money goes to a semi-literate Kurdish swindler, instead of towards vitamin supplements for Clive’s emaciated, half-starved workforce as promised.*

Clive’s brilliant account of what really happens in The Senate when the lights go out is still looking for a publisher, despite it having absolutely nothing to do with SHY’s alleged prodigious promiscuity whatsoever.

We intend to appeal.

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*Not in writing, though.

Posted in Behrouz Boochani, Clive Palmer | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

August 12, 2019

Image result for reinhard heydrich
Reinhard Triggs
UN Protektor?

A LONG, GROVELLING apologia in The Weekend Australian from Cricket Australia’s virtue-signalling CEO, Kevin Roberts, where he seeks to justify his decision to capitulate to a whingeing minority of transgender fascists and pervert the honourable sport of cricket.

In the past, with similar acts of treachery – if he had any sense of honour – the culprit would normally take the honourable way out by quietly repairing to his study, taking out a revolver from a drawer and summarily blowing his stupid brains out. If it was a woman, she’d jump off the nearest cliff.

My guess is that, based on the sympathies expressed by the article, even if he does have a sense of honour, Roberts would be in two minds about what to do anyway: the revolver or the cliff?

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TO LEICHARDT in the evening to celebrate with a group of friends Gillian Triggs’ appointment as UN ‘Protector’. Funny thing, Reinhard Heydrich had a similar title, Reichs Protektor – and he was blown-up. UN Protector/Reichs Protektor… I feel there’s a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

Triggs’ appointment also coincides with the 30th anniversary of the release of Bob Geldof’s famous ‘Ding-Focking-Dong, the Focking Witch Is Focking Dead’ single. Another reason to celebrate.

Posted in Gillian Triggs, Kevin Roberts, Reinhard Heydrich | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Diary August 10, 2019

Image result for kristina keneallyKristina Keneally
Labor Minister for Open Borders

IN A BAR at The Rocks last night when, out of nowhere, a wild-eyed Kristina Keneally suddenly rushes up to me and whispers furiously in my ear: Adolph Hitler, Martin Bormann and the entire Waffen SS have been invited to  CPAC*. She looks swiftly over her shoulder, then nods and winks knowingly at me, before rushing off again chased by two big men in white coats.

Yet another one of Labor’s pitiful shadow cabinet in the ‘Special-Needs’ category. I thought (the other day in Parliament) that she had just been blind drunk again – but I now  stand corrected.

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* Conservative Political Action Conference

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment