A large number of Muslim Brotherhood constituents hand in a petition protesting against the military takeover in Egypt. They want the PM to make a clear and unequivocal statement about the coup: Is this latest act of Western-backed Zionist aggression committed against the peace-loving Muslim Brotherhood a) a good thing for Australian Muslims, or b) a bad thing for Australian Muslims?

Completely stunned, we go inside for an inner-cabinet huddle.
I remind Kevvie of two things:
A) The Muslim Brotherhood’s Mission Statement: “Allah is our objective; the Quran is our constitution, the Prophet is our leader; Jihad is our way; and death for the sake of Allah is the highest of our aspirations.” And,
B) Rudd’s 2011 speech that we should engage with the MB and they really can’t be all that bad, can they?

Kevvie asks me if the MB has changed their Mission Statement since 2011? I answer, no.
Have they removed it from their website? I answer, no.
He tells me to ring up Gillian Triggs at the Human Rights Commission to ask if it’s Islamophobic to say that the military coup is a good thing for Australia, but when I do, she’s not answering her phones. I try The Greens but they all cross their arms furiously, say they hate the little ***k and refuse to answer. I contact Waleed Ali who says he will consult his ‘Sharia for Aussies Like Us’ guide and finds absolutely nothing of relevance. Sheikh Halili is asleep again and Dr Mohammad Abdullah (academic scholar and public intellectual) is over at Griffith trying to help them sort out their Saudi-finance mess again.

Finally, I ring the Macquarie Dictionary people who, in the greatest act of intellectual fraud this century, changed their definition of ‘misogyny’ just to support Gillard in her hysterical hissy-fit with the evil Abbott. I ask them if they can could also temporarily change the definition of Islamophobia for a few weeks, if need be, until it all blows over. One of them promises to get back to me, but never does.

Finally, I say to Rudd look,  we don’t need the Muslim Brotherhood vote anymore anyway, so why not just tell them to “f** off, and he does. Problem solved.