It is commonly thought that Randa Abdel-Fattah’s primary mission in life is to convince all Australians that Islam is a rather decent but unfairly misunderstood religion – and that anyone who thinks otherwise is some sort of idiot. Unfortunately, I haven’t met Randa, a darling of the multicultural Left, before: however, I have read some of her news columns. And it appears to me that she chiefly prosecutes this mission to change Australian public opinion through the shrill, scathing public denouncements of journalists such as Paul Sheehan, and every other out-and-out Islamophobe who dares refer to the more misunderstood aspects of Islam doctrine (e.g., people suddenly finding themselves without their heads) and bring them to the notice of a concerned public.

Private functions and book-launches present Randa with tailor-made opportunities to continue to pursue this goal, and to simultaneously bolster her parallel career as a famous Australian novelist. One course of action open to her is to suddenly corner an unsuspecting victim and rail on and on at them in a hysterical, hectoring tone for ever and a day until they become so sick of listening to her that they break down, renounce their Islamophobia and buy one of her books just to get her to shut up. The only other options open to her victims in such circumstances are that they could either convert to Islam, or kill themselves: the latter being the one most sensible people take.