Major concerns in the UK that the naming of the new heir to the throne as ‘George’ has resulted in less widespread rioting in the streets than was widely-anticipated. With only 50 cars out of the usual 5,000 cars torched nightly at such events, the results were ‘extremely disappointing,’ say anti-Islamophobia activists.

In bucking the UK popular national trend to name their son ‘Mohammad’ by calling him the provocative ‘George,’ the Duke and Duchess have drawn a line in the sand against the creeping Islamification of the Royal Family. In my appreciation of their great courage, I send William and Kate a congratulations card with an image of Buckingham Palace on the front, decorated with a ‘piles and piles of dead Saracens’ motif, and labelled ‘The Buck Stops Here.’ They tweet me to express their enjoyment of the triple play on words using “buck,” and only hope my readers will get it.

Knowing my monarchist leanings, Jake Lynch from the Sydney Peace Foundation rings to express his outrage at the blatant snub to the peaceful Islamification of the UK.
“After that silly fuddy-duddy Prince Charles’ secret conversion to Islam in 1997,” he says, choosing George as the new boy’s name “represents another act of vicious Islamophobia directed against my Islamist mates in the UK and a setback for the Palestinian cause.” He then rings back and adds, “As well as racist.” before I politely hang up on him again.

Celebrations continue.