Corruption, schmoruption, so long as I get re-elected – Daffy Duck, circa 1957*
The damning ICAC findings that NSW Labor politicians ‘Fast Eddie’ Obeid and Ian Macdonald are corrupt as hell won’t hurt Rudd’s re-election chances so long as he takes my advice. The law has been stitched up so tightly that the DPP will take months just to decide whether or not these f***ers should be prosecuted, and Rudd will have been re-elected way before then if he plays his cards right. And everyone knows that Rudd will probably have died of old age before any gaol sentence, if ever, is handed out.
My brief to him is to white-wash the following key ICAC findings:
(A) The Labor Party is not there for the welfare of ordinary, working people, but is in fact a stinking sewer of sleaze, graft and corruption from which enterprising politicians can secretly line their own pockets with untold millions and get away with it.
(B) In his youthful Labor days, Fast Eddie Obeid, too, was like many in the Party today: a strident, self-moralising, Leftist radical and rabid leader of a student union.
How could he ever hope to white-wash this massive indictment of the Labor Party, and preempt the probability that many of its Leftists members might suddenly wake up to themselves, defect en masse to the Greens, or kill themselves out of shame?
My advice is simple: 1. Use the words ‘I’m disgusted’ a number of times whenever the media refers to the ICAC findings. 2. Continue the pretense of of being able to do anything about it by regularly trumpeting his sham anti-corruption reforms. 3. Repeat Abbott’s name over and over, and over again. 4. Call in Team Obama and see what they can do.
* Actually, he said: ‘Conthequences schmonthequences, so long as I’m rich,’ but it means the same.