Pity poor Rudd.
After Abbott compliments Liberal candidate Fiona Scott for having sex-appeal, Rudd’s at a loss what to do. We need to respond in kind, I tell him. A Labor equivalent needs to be quickly found to prove to voters that Labor women, too, can be sexy. But as we start to glance through their online portfolios I begin to feel sick in the stomach. In an act of pure desperation, we palm it off on Team Obama, telling them it’s time to earn their keep and come up with someone in a great hurry.

After initially balking at the hopelessness of their task, they get back to us thirty minutes later in great triumph, presenting us with their chosen candidate: Federal Treasurer, Penny Wong. When Rudd goes ape and screams at them that ‘she’s a confessed dyke,’ their jaws drop in disbelief. How were we to know? they plead.

A big shouting match follows with the team leader finally threatening to resign. If they have to continue with this silly fool’s errand any longer, they are ‘out of here,’ he says.

Rudd relents, agrees with me that even the Liberals Sophie Mirabella has more sex appeal than his entire Labor Cabinet women combined, and decides to drop it. A wise decision under the circumstances, I think.
But another one chalked up to Abbott.