Yesterday’s disqualification from political office in Iran of Nina Moradi for ‘not observing Islamic norms’ (i.e., being too sexy) has given cause for alarm. After the mass hysteria over poor Fiona Scott’s sex-appeal two days ago, the depraved moral universe of the Australian Left seem to be once again coinciding with that of the Ayatollahs.

To arrest this appalling decline in values I propose, once they get into office, the new Abbott government immediately creates an oversight committee modelled on the Iranian ‘Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices.’ The duties of the new “True Aussie Values” political oversight committee would be to vet all political candidates before they apply for office, using the following simple criteria: 1. Virtue: Having sex-appeal, and 2. Vice: Being too ugly for words.

Rigorous screening should ensure the exclusion from future office of the overwhelming majority of current Labor and Green politicians of all three sexes (male, female and indeterminate) and, importantly, every woman without exception currently listed on Tanja Kovac’s ‘Emily’s List’ website, including the woman herself. Mark Latham, for no reason other than having no taste in women whatsoever should also be debarred from appearing in the media (as well as politics) for life.

Liberal Party members would all of course be automatically excluded from the committee’s scrutiny, as long as they continued to ‘observe Un-Islamic norms,’ as so admirably exemplified by Buddy Rojek and his supporters.