Manus Island Resort in the news again.
This time we have the courageous Scott Morrison telling us that the riots last week actually occurred within the compound, and not outside it, as was originally reported. As we await further details without baited breath from the resort’s award-winning management team (G4S – see pic above), Green’s leader Christine Milne suddenly becomes quite unhinged on camera again. And not just at the thought that this problem was entirely of her’s and the Left’s own making in the first place. But now someone has actually died there, rather than on his way to Australia, (as she would much prefer) – and she is outraged. Demanding the resort’s architect (Kevin Rudd) be summarily sacked and the whole thing shut down immediately, she rants furiously on camera again (as already mentioned, in an unhinged manner) and goes on for quite some time, before being quietened down by the soft and gentle blubbering sounds of SH-Y nearby.

Rudd, who was already sacked by the electorate last year for failing to convert the Manus Island Resort into the fully-fledged gulag he always promised, is currently in the US, attached to Harvard University. Working on some kind of US-Sino relations research think-tank wheeze, he has already made it abundantly clear that he has no intention of running for Australian PM a third time. “Just to be sacked again because of her Party’s lunatic policies? Fair shake of the sauce bottle..!”, he said.

When this was pointed out to the now deceptively hinged Green’s leader, and reminded that it was in fact Tony Abbott who was in charge now, Milne’s face turned ashen and her body started to shake in silent rage (that is, becoming unhinged again.)

Meantime, a spokesman for G4S confirmed that the resort’s award-winning team’s original acronym was GRU, which stood for ‘Gulags-R-Us‘, and that they have since changed it out of sensitivity to the notorious Russian GRU (Foreign Military Intelligence Directorate) who use the same acronym. “We didn’t want to give the Russians a bad name,” he added.