How to deal with the ABC?
Until the leadership is purged, Cory tells me, a special Fatwah of ‘Guilt by Association‘ should be declared on the faux-journalists and the rest of the Stalinist Left affiliates who still continue to work at the ABC – long after the bogus torture allegations against our Navy were first aired a month ago.

As for sentencing, he is convinced that on-shore re-education camps will be the easiest way of dealing with the younger ABC apparatchiks. “There is always hope for reform, and them becoming more patriotic, more family-loving and more God-fearing,” he says. “The more seasoned recalcitrants, the other pederasts and assorted cultural-Marxist faggots: Scott, Cassidy, Marr and particularly that smug Q&A f****r Jones …”  (He pulls out and shows me a long list.) “These people,” he tells me, “should be rounded up and dispatched forthwith to the Manus and Nauru ‘facilities’.”
“There,” Cory continues, “mosquito-infested swamps, tropical diseases, butch Gulags-R-Us!* guards dressed in leather wielding Cossack bull-whips and the newly appointed chef (see image) can all combine to assist them in their journey to redemption and salvation. And where,” Cory, eyes closed, and in hushed tones, concludes, “over the years they will become better acquainted with the equally fallen, morally-corrupt souls of their sham-refugee brethren.”

On the face of it, I have to admit his reasoning appears to me to be ideologically sound. What’s more, it has a nice, warm and fuzzy feel about it. But the next thing needed is to give it some legs.
“How should we do that?” he asks, before answering his own question: “By garnering widespread party and grassroots support in advance, so that it can be put it into immediate effect after seizing full control of the Senate in July.”

We agree to meet again early tomorrow to discuss it further. This time Cory, after eyeing the gay Kurdish waiter again, says he wants to try the newly-opened Kehlsteinhaus Cafe in down-town Woden. Cory tells me their breakfast slogan promises “We guarantee that no matter how many eggs we break, your omelet will be cooked just Right!”
No problem, I say.†

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*Aka ‘G4S’
† Note that (for reasons not entirely unconnected with forestalling any litigation) I confess I’ve never met Senator Bernardi in my life and this entire article – and the entire blog, come to think of it – is pure invention.