A friend rings me to ask why, since becoming PM, Abbott hasn’t rated much of a mention in my blog? I reply that, while Geoffrey Rush secretly coaches Abbott on how to string more than two sentences together in public without a script, he is avoiding the media as much as possible. And the coaching continues to be a major challenge. In fact, Rush’s task of curing George V of his stutter pales into insignificance compared to this one. And Rush keeps complaining about the caveat* Abbott’s wife insisted on adding to the agreed outcome. Rush says that it now makes it nigh on impossible to achieve and he wants out. Julie Bishop says he should keep it going, and eventually he’ll get the hang of it.

And what about Tony’s secret love, a certain ‘Sophie’? If  he mean Sophie ‘Banshee’ Mirabella, the best man the Liberals ever had, then she’s gone back to her roots. After being unceremoniously dumped at the last election she’s hung up her bovver boots, renewed her vows and reverted to being a nun again. If Rush’s task ultimately fails to get results (Sophie told me before she left) Tony can find her there. And speaking is strictly forbidden within her monastic order, she assured me, so Tony should no longer be insufferable to all and sundry.

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* (The caveat to the outcome.) Quote: “The Prime Minister should be taught how to string two sentences together in public without a script, ‘- AND without simultaneously sounding so much like an idiot.’” Unquote.