Quite an exciting weekend ahead of me.
I don’t mean because of the Senate elections in Western Australia and the fact that Scott Ludlum may lose his seat, which would be good.
Nor do I mean because of the Tasmania elections where The Greens (responsible for nearly bankrupting the state) stand to be ousted, which would be positively thrilling.
Or the elections in South Australia, where Labor looks like being thrown out there as well. (Nice.)
And I don’t have much interest in the illegal secessionist referendum in Crimea, because the result seems a foregone conclusion and is therefore of only passing interest.

No, this weekend is exciting for me because the weather has been forecast to be fine!
And that means I can easily imagine how irksome it must be for the convicted liar and Labor criminal Craig Thompson, knowing that he won’t be able to spend it with his loving family on one of our golden beaches – or, alternatively, in the care of some high-class prostitute somewhere courtesy of the poor Health Worker’s trades union funds. Doubly irksome for Thompson would be knowing, too, that his crimes pale into insignificance when compared to those of some of his European western and eastern counterparts (as discussed in my previous article.) And yet they remain free as birds, free to enrich themselves even more – and have as many prostitutes as they want. Triply irksome, that this makes his crimes extremely petty by comparison. That he, Craig Thompson, is in fact a common, petty little man, with whom a European oligarch wouldn’t even pass the time of day.

It’s just a pity that we can’t bring back the medieval stocks and allow the hard-working and disadvantaged members of Thompson’s trades unions that he helped fleece to come and merrily spit on him before heading off to the beach to spend time with their own families.  Now, that would really make my weekend.