Now that the European street marches have finished and all that tearful hand-wringing and group hugging is over, I decided that I might as well take down the sign from my bedroom window. Though my brilliant, nation-wide ‘Stick an ‘I Am Surrender Monkey’ Sign on Your Window ’ campaign received great traction and rapturous applause from the Left, the sensible wider Australian public wasn’t having a bar of it.
After going on TV to regretfully announce my decision, the Greens anti-terrorist expert Adam Bandt rang me to say that he strongly disagreed with me taking any of the ‘I Am Surrender Monkey’ signs down. He believed that we should keep them up there permanently as a sign of goodwill to all our neighbours (and future masters) within the Muslim community. And it might also possibly make them less angry, he added.
The two respected Muslim scholars, Greens Senator Scott Ludlum and Managing Director of the Australian Broadcasting Commission, Mark Scott, both continued with the line that surrendering to Muslim intimidation had nothing whatsoever to do with Islam. It said so in The Koran, so it was okay, they agreed.
Most of the usual Q&A audience also agreed.
David Maher, Christine Milne, Sarah Hanson-Young and Gillian Triggs, some of the ones who got us in this f*****g mess in the first place, however remained silent, and still in hiding.
Waleed Aly, on the other-hand, rang me to say that, with Section 18C still in place, placing surrender messages on your bedroom windows was a complete waste of time. “Let’s face it,” he said, “We got the message a long time ago.”
(Note: Yes, this is satire)