Conference Notes

norm meyer

CFMEU President and part-time Comanchero
Norm Meyer

Off to the ALP Conference 2105 today only to see that my motion to declare the trade union movement a masquerade and a gigantic swindle has gained little traction. This, in spite of me paying Norm Meyer (above) heaps to be present and help the vote go the right way. My other motion, however, suggesting we should all just get up and leave en masse  if Julia Gillard insisted on taking to the microphones at any time, showed solid support.

Apoplexy all around for Shorten’s brave new stance to adopt Tow-backs, and any other of Abbott’s policies stopping the boats, in order to get Labor re-elected again. Bill took my advice and drew the line at Cory Bernardi’s new policy idea (‘that the boats should be simply bombed from a great height’) unless Abbott actually adopted it, in which case Labor would adopt that as well, because Labor is ‘a broad church’ of ideas. The Shadow Multicultural Minister, Robin Scott,  immediately objected to the use of ‘church’ instead suggesting the use of the term ‘A Broad Harmonious and Inclusive Diversity of Wonderful Rainbow-like Colours, With Only Just a Few Burkas to Spoil it,’  but the member from Lakemba said why not just go straight to the heart of the matter, call it an Ummah – and be done with it?

Others argued that it was best to wait until nearer the next election to see how many hundreds of Labor’s core supporters were gaoled by the new security laws before deciding whether or not to follow the French model and accept the new reality (i.e., surrender.) Likewise, with regards to my third motion, the ACTU would count the number of trade union delegates gaoled for corruption before agreeing to re-branding. My argument in favour of the motion’s adoption (that the much shorter ‘Mafiosa’ label instead of  ‘Trade Union Delegate’ had more of the ring of truth about it and would also help cut down stationary costs) had some merit, I was told.

Tea and Biscuits were served, during which time the leading lights from Green and Gay GetUp! Gestapo, ‘Uncle’ Tim Soutphommasane and Gillian Triggs, took turns to lecture everyone on Labor’s need to be vigilant against waverers from the multicultural orthodoxy and for those bigots who opposed Gay Marriage just because the idea is phony, something cooked up by progressive half-wits.  At the same time commissars from the GGGG’s Thought Police passed among us handing out leaflet depicting a tragic scene of  a poor ISIS fighter’s mother being crushed by an AFP jackboot, while others scanned the audience on the look-out for people smirking or sniggering inappropriately.

Gillian then presented Uncle Tim an award for services rendered to Australian migrants: an autographed copy of Sarah Hanson-Young’s new autobiography, ‘The 1200 – My Part In Their Downfall.’ Tim reciprocated with an autographed copy of ‘The Rise of Right-Wing Extremists (Tony Abbott and His Ilk)’ in Australia, by the world-famous faux-anti-terrorist expert Anne Aly (co-edited by Hizb-ut-Tahrir and Zaky Mallah.) Anne Aly was present in the audience, but so was Waleed Aly and what, with the similar names and all, neither one of them was sure who was being referred to when the word ‘faux’ was mentioned and so neither of them stood to receive the acclaim they deserved. Until they changed the word from ‘faux‘ to ‘taqiyya‘ whereupon a beaming Waleed jumped to his feet. Sarah Hanson-Young wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Wracked by wretched tears and speechlessness for weeks on end after her betrayal by all those hundreds of thousands of boat-people who preferred to swamp Italy rather than Australia, she was still inconsolable and couldn’t attend.

After my opening speech, in which I thanked the Left in general for their crimes against sanity (and that was it), I left the conference.

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About Austeralix

It's just satire, really.
This entry was posted in Bills Shorten, Gillian Triggs, Green and Gay GetUp! Gestapo, Hizb-ut-Tahrir, Progressives, Robin Scott, Sarah Hanson-Young, Tim Soutphommasane, Tony Abbott, Waleed Aly, Zaky Mallah and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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