American Interventionism

spencer stone

Following the brutal bashing of a young Moroccan by three American Islamophobic thugs on a train bound for Paris last week, the victim’s French defence counsel said they have turned to Australia for advice in his upcoming trial.

Speaking from Paris, their chief defense lawyer, Pierre-Abdullah Bin Kill-Tout, said: “We’ve long been admirers of Australian Human Rights commissioner Gillian Triggs’ ability to make completely absurd compensation determinations by closely reasoned, judicial piffle, and we really need her advice on this one. The premise (that our client was out visiting his mother, on the way found a Kalashnikov, a hand-gun and some box cutters and decided to ask some passengers to kindly lend him some money for the trip before he was brutally attacked by US marines) is a real stretch of the imagination. So we hope she can help us out,” said Pierre-Abdullah.

“We were appalled to learn of this this overt act of despicable Islamophobia, which has no place in today’s modern France,” he said. “For no good reason, our client was set upon by a gang of US thugs who bashed him to a senseless pulp before hog-tying him and brazenly stealing his Kalashnikov. Having keenly observed her for many years now, we know that Gillian is a highly-principled, though quite senile advocate for nut-jobs and Muslims alike, and so we really want her on our side,” Pierre-Abdullah enthused with a big smile.

On a related issue, a spokeswoman from Muslim advocacy groups in France protested after the mindless assault on the Moroccan that they are truly flabbergasted to discover the presence of American combat troops in their country, “teaching the infidel locals how to stand up and defend themselves again. This is the last thing we want,” she said.

In Australia, Gillian Triggs today remained silent on the issue. But close confidantes say that she is unlikely to risk further humiliation and further ridicule from the sane majority if she attempted to act on her crazed principles again anytime soon. On the other hand, Sarah Hanson Young, still smarting from her failure to convince all of Africa and The Middle East to migrate en masse to Australia instead of to Europe, is looking for another hopeless cause to align her idiocy to, no matter where it’s located. And given the state of France now, there could be quite a lot of opportunity coming up there soon.

Meantime, The Australian Greens issued a statement today condemning this latest act of brutal American intervention in the affairs of another country. Senator Peter Whish-Wilson said that “Western interference in Muslim affairs risks further world-wide radicalisation of innocent Muslims, Western invasions which has already given rise to the twin terrors in Australia of Rupert Murdoch and Tony Abbott. In a multicultural world, Muslims have legitimate psychotic demands and grievances in their DNA which need to be met, one of which is to dispose of Greens like me. And we should all just learn to sit back supinely and take it. Westerners should let Muslims go about their daily lives, allowing them to freely massacre people on a train as they see fit without being opposed, otherwise it will make things get a lot worse.”

About Austeralix

It's just satire, really.
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