Leigh Sales
(“What the hell have I got to do with this???”)

To the Humane Society in Balmain today – deep inside enemy territory. My motion to euthanise the senile Gillian Triggs out of deep compassion is carried unanimously and with enthusiastic applause, despite loud objections from her mother. Next, how to stuff the demented old fool into a bag before ditching her off The Gap? With all that kicking and screaming etc, it’s a difficult one that I have to leave to the techs …

Snapping out of my daydream, I suddenly remember what on earth I was doing here in Balmain in the first place. I head down the corridor to the main auditorium where I’ve come to see Lee Rhiannon speaking at a conference.

The blurb on the invite states that it’s a two-day conference with the theme: “Reflections on Modernity – The Munificence of Islam’s Contemporary Contributions to Civilised Discourse,” with today’s first two lectures entitled, “The Inherent Islamophobia of Dog-Shit When I Happen To Step In It” from a Mr. W. Aly, and from Ms Lee Rhiannon:“Free Palestine and Kill All The Jews – A Love Story.”

They are still setting up inside so I decided to head off for a while to a nearby restaurant. There I run into a excited Scott Morrison who had already heard about the excellent Rudd decision that morning. Hundreds of thousands of people had already turned out into the streets, dazed, still rubbing their eyes in disbelief. Realising it was indeed true, they began whooping, cheering and a-hollerin’ in celebration.

It’s as if the whole of Australia had come together there in Balmain, as one.
We watched them there, in the streets, cheering, singing and dancing in jubilation. Strangers, spontaneously hugging and embracing one another, as if they’d been life-long friends, re-united after many years of war. Music blared and cars honked as they went past. Complete strangers, rejoicing together, tentatively, then passionately, kissing and touching each other’s naughty bits before carefully mounting each other and going flat out at it out of pure joy and because it was a great opportunity.

A gigantic ticker-tape parade through the streets immediately proposed by a beaming Turnbull, for Turnbull, that is, for him, gained immediate backing from him and his extreme Labor Left lickspittles, plus Leigh Sales, who is not yet carrying his love-child as far as I know. And Cori Bernardi has demanded that Rudd’s LNP principle public backers for the UN job, George Brandis and Julie Bishop, be both dragged naked through the streets in chains out of shame. But this is unlikely to garner much support because the sight of the former, but definitely not the latter, naked, under any circumstances would be, for most decent people, just too hideous to bear. At least that’s what his pride and joy, Section 18C, shouldn’t stop me from implying.