Absolutely jubilant at the release of the Nauru Island Gulag files, coming so close in the footsteps of revelations about NT’s Dale Youth Detention Centre. I’m cock-a-hoop, in fact, because for the second time in less than a month HR Commissioner Gillian Triggs will again have the opportunity to prove her utter uselessness to Australia, by writing yet more letters of confected outrage to the Guardian about the plight of illegal refugees and children in detention.

Pleased for her too (admittedly, in a sick kind of way), because if it wasn’t for the expectation of an online avalanche of support from her adoring public (leftist bleeding-hearts, all), she’d have very little to look forward to when she came home at night. Other than, that is, ending up sprawled in a sad, drunken stupor over a desk in a home for the ‘patently senile’ somewhere, clutching a bottle of gin and surrounded by piles of rejection slips from the government. Rejection slips which have repeatedly, over the years, dismissed all of her clearly demented recommendations out of hand. And attached to each, a carefully hand-written note from George Brandis, offering his “considered legal opinion” (and confirming her own worst fears) that she is “in fact, a pathetic and useless old cow,” and politely asking: “By the way, when are you going to resign?”