“A third of our members aren’t
as stupid as I thought …”

Who needs an alarm clock?
The sounds of gob-smacked Green jaws dropping into their breakfast bowls all across our nation this morning was enough to wake anyone up. As was the wailing and gnashing of their teeth that followed, screeching out the horror of it all from the depths of their cushy, elitist, inner-city rat-holes.

For the top echelons of the Greens’ politburo, eyes popping, and gagging over their Halal-certified cornflakes, the astounding results of The Guardian’s own polling service – that 34% of the Greens’ voters actually support Pauline Hanson’s Muslim migration ban – was perhaps the mother of all kick in the guts. An unexpected swift kick in the balls, in fact, more than enough (I submit, with much glee) to make any good Lefty, Greenie or not, scream out in pain and slit his/her/its wrists out of despair. Enough, too, I contend,  for the Greens’ leadership to resign en masse in disgrace. Probably not quite enough, unfortunately, for them to feel compelled to do the decent thing and immediately kill themselves, I agree, but I like to think that the thought might have crossed their minds, however fleetingly.

Another plus, other than for all the Green comrades to have summarily topped themselves, would be if those same 34% (who have just demonstrated this surprisingly and totally unexpected ounce of common sense), were to renounce the Greens altogether . Preferably publicly declaring at the same time that they will in future try to vote rationally, rather than immensely stupidly, as before.

Watching their own elected idiots thumbing their noses at Parliamentary Democracy and The People’s Will, walking out in protest at Saint Pauline’s presence in Parliament last week for many of them must have been particularly insulting. To those 34% at least, those whose brains have been demonstrated by this poll to have evolved passed the single-celled amoeba stage, it seems the penny has finally dropped.

Perhaps these poll results will mark a watershed in Green politics. Perhaps even the most stupid among the remaining 66% will soon themselves come to realise the vast difference between hugging a tree and hugging someone who secretly wants you dead.

But for those “deep Green” ideologues who are totally committed to the cause, and who won’t deviate one iota from the official Party line, the difference makes no difference at all. For these Green fundamentalists, the theory remains unchanged. As Gaia is evidently unable to protect the planet against the wantonness of human beings by killing as many of us as she can with wars, Aids, the Bubonic Plague, etc … As she has so far been unable to cull anywhere near enough of us to the Deep Greens’ liking (that is, a few billion), it’s up to the Party to help Gaia out. For that reason, opening the borders up to the unlimited influx of the immigration equivalent of the Ebola Virus into this country makes entirely good sense.