Surprised to see yesterday that Yassmin Abdel-Maglied’s attempt to disguise her stupidity by pushing the fantasy of her being beautiful, intelligent and well-read has again been given legitimacy by The Guardian’s Life and Style section. Or maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised, for where else does a prize idiot go in such circumstances? It’s a public trash heap, hires mentally-deficient columnists, spouts complete fantasy (“truth” to the Guardianistas) and, what’s more, it’s free!

Wasting vast amounts of column space gushing on and on about her favourite cosmetics and books, the idiocy of calling herself a feminist while sporting a hijab and having Hizb-ut-Tahrir mentor her is completely lost on this feather-brain, Maglied. Instead of reading the fantasist Patrick Rothfuss over and over again she would be much better off reading the seminal work of that well-known Arabian fantasist (you know who) over and over again, and realise what an utter dick she is for going along with that horror show of his.

Likewise, a litre of Urban Decay lipstick won’t overcome the fact that every time she opens her mouth she vaguely reminds one (as David Attenborough once privately remarked to me after first watching her on Q&A a while back) of a herd of crazed Nile-delta hippos attacking a canoe. So that can’t help her cause much, even if I hadn’t subsequently posted it all over the Internet. But, there’s at least a suggestion of it there, I find myself forced to agree. Besides, if anyone knows about these things, it would be David.

Though it is difficult to dispute, at least, that the vast amounts of rubbish Yassmin sprays around when she does open her mouth is closely related to what hippos (and horses for that matter) eject from their opposite ends after a big feed. Though Attenborough wouldn’t necessarily agree with me on that score. At least not publicly.