Dastardly Sam Bastardyari
“String him up, I say.” (Anon.)
If there was anything lacking in the former Croatian General Slobodan Praljak it certainly wasn’t the courage of his convictions. Despite a bunch of jumped up Human Rights fairies at The Hague this week declaring him a war criminal, Praljak disagreed, and demonstrated his disagreement in spectacular fashion. After proclaiming himself innocent of blowing up the Mostar Bridge during the 1990’s Bosnian war (and, apparently, of killing not a few Muslims – which those Hague idiots for their own private reasons didn’t take too kindly to either), Praljak killed himself in front of the cameras, swallowing a vial of poison.
The question arises: why doesn’t a certain despicable little Australian politician (who shall remain nameless until the next sentence) take a leaf out of the courageous general’s book and spectacularly kill himself in Parliament? Is it too much to ask then, that that dirty rotten traitor and turd extraordinaire, a.k.a. Sam Dastyari – also claiming to be innocent – just follow the general’s example?
Answer: No it isn’t.
In other words, after being rumbled for tipping off one of China’s spies that ASIO was on to him, why doesn’t the gutless Dastyari draw inspiration from the General Praljak’s singular act of defiance and publicly top himself too? After all (his Chinese puppet masters aside) he’d be doing us all a great favour.
If pressed however, Dastyari (being the vile, commie-lovin’ weasel that he is) most likely would argue that somehow his latest act of treachery was comparatively minor. Wriggling and squirming his way out of it again, the slimy-ball would try to have us believe Praljak’s understandable enthusiasm for a Muslim-free Croatian state was somehow a lot worse. Which is of course ridiculous.
Sadly, that’s the other thing (come to think of it) missing from Parliament these days: good, old fashioned, family entertainment. With this in mind – and the undoubted support of tens of millions of right-thinking people across this great land of ours – I rang Dastyari’s office yesterday to ask why he doesn’t follow Praljak’s example by doing the decent thing too? That is, standing up in Parliament in front of the cameras and swallowing the entire botttle of a slow-acting poison causing him to die a long, slow, horrible, agonising death, convulsing, screaming and puking up his guts all over the place, including all over that really nice parquetry etc, while we all sat back and laughed uproariously. As was to be expected, an automated voicemail recording was as far as I got. Someone with a Chinese accent saying: “Sam not here, now. Please fl**k off.”
A return to the good old days, when a mob could just rush in and lynch excrements like Dastyari where they stood, is now a matter of extreme urgency.
Meantime, a pox on his and all his Chinese mates’ houses.