Straw Poll

“Am I the only one who DOESN’T think I look like an idiot in this?”

Trump’s splendid call for AOC and the rest of her ‘squad’ to be sent back to the s**t-holes they came from was entirely rational, but I wonder if a similar call would gain any traction here?

The recent nation-wide straw poll of ScoMo’s ‘quiet Australians’, asking them whom they would most like to be immediately rid of, unsurprisingly resulted in a list of the usual suspects – the hateful “Doctor Death” Natale, the alleged author and revolutionary wannabee, Peter Fitzsimons, the treacherous Turnbull, Gillian “I’m not Senile” Triggs, Adam “I’m not Gay” Bandt, and Roz “I’m Not A Sick, Commie Pervert” Ward.  Problem is, many of them – rather inconveniently, were born here in the first place.

But what about that racist Tim Soutphommasane and that complete nincompoop Nick McKim, both of whom made it to the top five? Born, respectively, in the once great, but now present-day s**t-holes of France and the UK surely makes them qualify for immediate expulsion?

McKim, forever frothing at the mouth over refugees, was kicked out of PNG  last week for once again attempting to sneak onto Manus. This latest escapade will no doubt strengthen the government’s argument (currently being pursued in the courts) that he’s a total idiot, a danger to public safety and should be incarcerated forthwith. Hopefully,  a successful ruling will be followed by a persona non-grata court order demanding the rabid McKim’s deportation without delay.

The overwhelming desire to elevate  Yassmin Mad-Abdel-Magied and all her lunatic mates (“muzzies or otherwise”) to the top of the list of undesirables was not surprising. An entirely justifiable outcome, but one which unfortunately had to be overruled for practical reasons (fatwahs, beheadings etc). Instead, the 25 million-odd votes in favour of Yassie’s swift (but humane) despatch to her native Sudanese s**t-hole were defaulted to the runner up: a buffoon in a red bandana who, if his so-called ‘books’ are anything to go by, can barely write his own name.

Poll results on Peter Dutton’s desk by Tuesday.


* Predictably not published in The Guardian.

About Austeralix

It's just satire, really.
This entry was posted in Adam Bandt, Donald Trump, Manus Island, Nick McKim, Peter Dutton, Peter Fitzsimons, Richard "Dr Death" Natale, ScoMo, Scott Morrison, Sudan, Tim Soutphommasane, Yassmin Abdel-Magied. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Straw Poll

  1. Leon Brooks says:

    given the De Nutcase’s parents both fought for Mussolini, his loyalties are kind of obvious…


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