Behrouz Boochani

DISAPPOINTING NEWS yesterday from the National Biography Awards. The prize this year goes to Kurdish illegal-refugee and con-artist Behrouz Boochani for what amounts to a totally bullshit depiction of his life of Manus Island, No Friend But The Mountains: Writing from Manus. In this slanderous biography, Boochani viciously depicts Manus as some sort of ‘refugee hell-hole,’ instead of painting it as the island paradise we all have learnt to know and love (courtesy of ScoMo and Peter Dutton).

Boochani’s win means the utter brilliance of Clive Palmer’s epic page-turner (and therefore my ghost-writing), Much Rumpy-Pumpy After Dark: Tales of The Senate Floor With You Know Who, continues to go unrecognised. It also means, sadly, that the $25,000 prize money goes to a semi-literate Kurdish swindler, instead of towards vitamin supplements for Clive’s emaciated, half-starved workforce as promised.*

Clive’s brilliant account of what really happens in The Senate when the lights go out is still looking for a publisher, despite it having absolutely nothing to do with SHY’s alleged prodigious promiscuity whatsoever.

We intend to appeal.

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*Not in writing, though.