Duterte to Westpac: Try Brunei

Image result for duterte President Rodrigo Duterte

26th November

In Manila to find out first-hand whether claims that Westpac used 23 million fake transactions and money-laundering to protect Aussie paedophile rings are true. (Or something like that.)

Everywhere you look, the sacking of Drug Tsar, Leni Robredo, is headline news. The number of extra-judicial killings of drug traffickers on her watch has plummeted dramatically to just 10,000 per month, far short of Duterte’s bottom-line of 50,000. So out she goes. Imelda Marcos, herself now dead, could have easily doubled that figure.

Inside Malacañang Palace, the internationally-acclaimed President Duterte proudly shows me a copy of his brilliant denunciation of Obama as “that Pansy of Colour.” We all have a good laugh about that one because it was rather witty. After that, he has me in stitches reminiscing about his Moro* head-hunting days in southern Mindanao before ISIS came along and ruined everything. In his trophy room, we have fun playing carpet bowls with a a few of his favourites for a while, until it was time to turn to the serious subject of paedophilia.

The President, a strong Catholic, declares he can no longer turn a blind eye to the matter and Westpac will just have to advise their Aussie paedo customers to look elsewhere. Brunei, he suddenly exclaims, Try Brunei! Then, leaning over with a mischievous smile, whispers: the Sultan didn’t declare Sharia Law there for nothing.


* Separatists. (Yes, Muslim)

About Austeralix

It's just satire, really.
This entry was posted in Brunei, Drug Trafficking, Moros, Obama, Paedophiles, President Duterte, The Philippines, Westpac and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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