Jacqui Lambie

5th December
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More great news, this time from the Senate.
Yesterday, while voting to choose national security over the rights of a few hundred foreign criminals pretending to be sick, Jacqui Lambie was able to publicly blubber so convincingly, that she out-blubbered even Sarah Hanson-Young. That she did so for such a great cause, with the additional benefit of leaving Richard Death-Natale absolutely spitting, earns her the admiration and respect of a grateful nation.

Repealing the Medivac Bill must now turn the spotlight on the most complicit in this monstrous attempt at political fraud. Step forward notorious quack and renowned lesbian, Dr Kerryn Phelps. This seriously misguided imbecile, who was subsequently kicked out of office as a result of her gross stupidity, is probably now alone somewhere, quietly blubbering to herself, wondering where it all went wrong.

As I usually do under such circumstances, I’ve sent the good ‘doctor’ the usual bunch of roses, the usual commiserations and the usual Philip Nitschke calling card out of sympathy for her plight. It’s all I can do.