Daniel Andrews
‘Beijing-Bedfellow…?’  (Yes.)

Another terrible night’s sleep, worrying about the plight of innocent Victorians suffering under the jackboot of this crazed megalomaniac. Right before our very eyes, Andrews’ quest to turn Victoria into Beijing’s vassal-state while killing off half the over-aged population continues according to plan. That praise and standing ovations from Xi and the CCP erupt at mere mention of his name in China is proof that he’s on the right course. In this Year of the Rat, they have in Andrews their greatest paradigm.

But the question as to why polls show fulsome majority support for Andrews in his drive to transform the state into ‘Victoria with Chinese-Commie Characteristics’ continues to baffle.

Harrowing scenes of pregnant women and little old ladies being arrested, cuffed and thrown into unmarked police vans in front of their children for not (it is alleged*) displaying Chairman Dan’s portraits in their windows continue to outrage and dismay the rest of us. (That is, dinky-di, non-commie-type Aussies.)

Rumours** that protesters are taken to special holding cells in secret locations where they are water-boarded, have their finger-nails ripped out and have Magda Szubanski take a running jump and sit on them unless they confess their crimes have yet to be substantiated. But Jon Faine, ex-radio host and long-time Andrews’ suck-hole, now his chief propagandist,* refuses to confirm or deny the rumours, saying only that “they fuckin’ deserve it, even if the rumours are true, but I’m not saying they are – RIGHT???”

Watching, yesterday on TV, Victoria’s ridiculous Chief Health Officer Brett Sutton’s vomit-inducing apology to Afghans, in Afghani, for (apparently) calling them Afghans adds more absurdity to the absurdity. Clearly (paraphrasing Alice) Victoria’s becoming absurder and absurder.

*For the purposes of this article.
**Mine.