Author Archives: Austeralix

About Austeralix

It's just satire, really.

Beirut

“Beirut is booming again.” – Reuters When half of the capital city of your Muslim-majority shit-hole country is blown away with 2,500kg of ammonium nitrate, who else are Muslims gonna blame but Israel? After all, if  transforming the Christian-majority ‘Paris … Continue reading

Posted in Beirut, Israel, Muslim Brotherhood, Muslims, Waleed Aly | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Schadenfreude

Hugh Grant 14th December ______________________________________________________________ FOLLOWING THURSDAY’S mammoth routing of the UK’s Corbynistas, it’s only fair that I send post-cards expressing my deepest schadenfreude to some of their super-luvvie sympathisers. Hugh Grant comes immediately to mind, as one of the … Continue reading

Posted in Corbynistas, Hugh Grant, Jeremy Corbyn, Peter Fitzsimons | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Blubbering for Country

Jacqui Lambie 5th December ______________________________________________________________ More great news, this time from the Senate. Yesterday, while voting to choose national security over the rights of a few hundred foreign criminals pretending to be sick, Jacqui Lambie was able to publicly blubber … Continue reading

Posted in Jacqui Lambie, Kerryn Phelps, Philip Nitschke, Richard di Natale, Sarah Hanson-Young | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Tidings of Great Joy

Izzy Folau 4th December ______________________________________________________________ CHURCH BELLS HAVE BEEN RINGING throughout the land all morning as people wake up to greet the tidings of great joy. Rubbing their eyes in disbelief, they discover that Rugby Australia has finally agreed with … Continue reading

Posted in Israel Folau, Jacqui Lambie, Peter Fitzsimons | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Hurrah-For-Huawei!

Nick “Hurrah-For-Huawei!” Xenophon 3rd December ___________________________________________________________ JUST WHEN I THOUGHT IT SAFE to return to Australia again, Nick Xenophon appears on national TV announcing he will be spear-heading the Chinese take-over of Australia. The sight of that grinning, despicable mug … Continue reading

Posted in Big Brother Beijing, Huawei, Nick Xenophon, Paul Keating | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

University Days

Kevin Rudd 29th November ___________________________________________________________ BACK AT THE HUNTING LODGE, President Rodrigo Duterte tells me more about Kevin Rudd, whom he knew during his younger student days, studying Chinese together at Hong Kong University. In the first few months, our … Continue reading

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On Safari

Philippine Warty Pig 27th November ___________________________________________________________ ON SAFARI WITH PRESIDENT DUTERTE in western Luzon. The rare sighting of a Warty Pig turns the conversation, naturally, to Kevin Rudd. Duterte’s regard for self-serving politicians has always been philosophical: a kind of … Continue reading

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Duterte to Westpac: Try Brunei

President Rodrigo Duterte 26th November ___________________________________________________________ In Manila to find out first-hand whether claims that Westpac used 23 million fake transactions and money-laundering to protect Aussie paedophile rings are true. (Or something like that.) Everywhere you look, the sacking of … Continue reading

Posted in Brunei, Drug Trafficking, Moros, Obama, Paedophiles, President Duterte, The Philippines, Westpac | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shag-Not-Alot

Sarah Hanson-Young (blubbering again) 25th November ______________________________________________________________ TREMENDOUS NEWS TODAY for Sarah Hanson-Young. The courts have ruled that she’s not a shameless slut after all, or just a cheap tart, and that David Leyonhjelm owes her $120,000 in damages. Also … Continue reading

Posted in Bob Brown, David Leyonhjelm, Gaia, Sarah Hanson-Young | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Donate Here

Zali Steggall Fossil Fuel-Guzzling Hypocrite? 22nd November ______________________________________________________________ A TERRIBLE NIGHT lying awake thinking about the desperate plight of poor Zali Steggall. She still can’t afford to buy an electric vehicle on her meagre $500,000 a month parliamentary salary and … Continue reading

Posted in Climate-Change Mobsters, Zali Steggall | Tagged , | Leave a comment