Randy-Andy

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20th November
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OF COURSE it’s no secret that Prince Andrew has followed in the footsteps of his now demented father, bonking everything with a skirt in sight just as soon as he could walk. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to see him declare that bonking the delicious, but under-aged Aussie tart, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, would have been somehow “unbecoming” and that he’d decided he’d be much better off spending the entire night somwhere else stuffing his face with pizza.

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On the royal tour of The Royal Christchurch Institute of Horticulture with NZ’s hideous PM. Andrew’s gormless brother, Prince Charles, deftly parries reporters’ questioning about the Epstein matter. When I delicately attempt a more subtle approach (”Your Highness, whaddya think about that lyin’, connivin’, Randy-Andy-paedo brother of yours, hey???”), the Prince politely ignores me, turning to strike up a conversation with a nearby plant instead. Which is his wont.

That the plant happens to be a vegetable and that his royal fruit-cake (yes: our future King) pointedly addresses it as ‘Jacinta’, is a cause of much discomfort. When he asks it, “Are you a Muzzie, too?” all hell breaks loose.

Camilla quickly intervenes and bundles the dotty Prince out of the room, leaving the PM hugging tightly to her personal, portable prayer-mat, looking all flustered and embarrassed. Meantime, Winston Peters, personal advisor on all NZ matters horticultural to the Prince, looks on, openly amused, a mischievous smile stretching from ear to ear.

 

 

Posted in Jacinda Ardern, Jeffrey Epstein, Prince Andrew, Prince Charles, Winston Peters | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Behrouz Boochani

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Behrouz Boochani

IN CHRISTCHURCH to welcome the arrival of the Kurdish-Iranian author Behrouz Boochani from PNG. After six long years of failing to con Australian public opinion with his Manus Island fairy-tale  ‘No Friends But The Luvvies’, the government has decided to let him try flogging it to the Kiwis.

Along with me in the terminal is a small crowd of mostly hysterical women. Columnists for the The Guardian, one presumes. They wave placards bearing Boochani’s portrait and perform weird dances while loudly spouting the usual nonsense about refugees being normal human beings like the rest of us. To blend in, I carry a large portrait-placard of Dr Kerryn Phelps with the whopping lie ‘I’m Not a Silly, Virtue-Signalling Quack’ emblazoned across it, and repeatedly swivel my eyes and scratch my armpits incessantly.

When Boochani finally makes his appearance, the women all rush forward enthusiastically to throw flowers and to hug and shower him with kisses, which is all quite strange since, to my mind, he closely resembles some kind of rock-ape. Did he always look like that, I wonder? I’m not quite sure. Perhaps it’s down to the weather on Manus, that he looks such a complete wreck, or due to all that indiscriminate buggery that goes on each time Nick McKim pays a visit.

Posted in Behrouz Boochani, Dr. Kerryn Phelps, Nick McKim | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

At Home With The ABC

Related imageOsman Faruqi
Journalist/Jihadist?*

Osman Faruqi’s deranged crusade/jihad* to rid Australia of the white race once and for all gathers pace. At first it was the public sunscreen debates, which he reasoned was ‘evidence that white Australians don’t belong here’ and, presumably, why they should all fuck off. Then it was (to Yassmin Mad-Abdel Magied): “The white people are getting f..ked Yas, it’s happening”. Now, tweets Faruqi, the Pakistan-born, ABC-appointed journalist/jihadist* hack and self-styled dickhead, the national acclaim for Australia’s Melbourne Cup-winning horse is another nail in the coffin of the white abomination.

Given the evident psychotic nature of the tweets from this poor, one sick individual, is it any wonder why I recommended the ABC hire him in the first place? It was either that, or risk him being snatched up by the Greens where he would be, like his ridiculous mother Mehreen, subject to ridicule for the rest of his life. Or, more likely, risk being locked away somewhere along with a lot of other mad people where rich retirees with nothing better to do would be regularly bussed in to come and point and poke at him with a stick. As it turned out, coming from a complete shit-hole like Pakistan, the ABC welcomed him with open arms.

And, lucky for him.
Having to leave a West-hating country full of Muzzies where genital-mutilation, child-prostitution, gang-rape, blowing people up, marrying your sister and buggering your neighbour’s goat are actively encouraged, there wasn’t much for Faruqi to look forward to in Australia. It must have been exceedingly depressing.

Now, at the ABC, amongst like-minded inmates, Faruqi would be feeling completely at home. Especially after watching those lunatic women on Q&A last Monday.

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* You decide – I can’t make up my mind.

Posted in Osman Faruqi, Pakistan, Q&A, Sarah Hanson-Young, The ABC, The Greens, Yassmin Abdel-Magied | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nobel Peace Prize

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Jacinda Ardern

The Noble Peace Prize going to someone no-one’s ever heard of, rejecting both of the two front-runners, might seem puzzling. On the one hand you have a white, deeply-disturbed, teenage mental-case from Sweden; on the other, a white, hyper-virtue-signalling super-luvvie from New Zealand. Both candidates, you would think, have impeccable credentials, despite their obvious white privilege.

Not the case.
With regards to Thunberg, ignoring the advice and example of the millions of her world-wide supporters and refusing point-blank to glue herself to the podium immediately after her speech to the UN is what ruined it for her. Not having the courage of her convictions was never going to offset her white-privilege in the eyes of the selection committee, no matter how lefty-loopy she is. Stapling her head to the UN floor, I contend, would have been even more convincing, but she rejected that idea too. This, despite my incessant lobbying, long phone-calls, sending flowers, boiled sweets, etc. (The ungrateful little brat.)

While we’re on the subject, if ‘The Crazy One’ ever comes to Australia to spout more of her hysteria, a similar act of conviction should be a prerequisite to qualify for a visa. Stapling her head to a suitable object (such as Adam Bandt’s dunny door), would be sufficient for most of us. Suspending upside down beneath the Harbour Bridge during the New Year’s Eve’s fireworks would be a perfectly reasonable alternative. We should all lobby Peter Dutton and insist on nothing less.

As for Ardern missing out on the prize, sucking up to the committee by banning guns and doubling NZ’s refugee intake was pathetic. A virtue-signalling super-luvvie who dons the hijab occasionally, desperate to have her white-privilege overlooked, has to be more creative if she wants to win next year’s Nobel.

And it’s my belief, to be a shoe-in for the prize, Jacinda should build on her previous form, taking it to its next logical step. That is, she should slap on the hijab once again and – while simultaneously streaming live to the Internet –  give birth over and over again, while repeatedly reciting the Shahada, over and over again. Only that, and that alone, will get her across the line in 2020.

Posted in Greta Thunberg, Jacinda Ardern | Tagged , | 1 Comment

August 25, 2019

Image result for benjamin lawBenjamin Law

ALLOWING OUR UNIVERSITIES TO BE OVERRUN by Chinese hordes is a good thing, according to Minister for Education, Dan Tehan, but I’m not convinced.

The least concerning is that the majority of them readily confess on camera to being members of China’s secret police. What troubles me more is that many bear more than a passing resemblance to Benjamin Law, the repulsive, hate-rape advocate and the ABC’s preferred source of depraved content for its depraved children’s programs.

As ASIO has recently revealed that the ABC is using our university campuses as recruiting grounds for its perverse agenda to indoctrinate our children, it’s time for action.
However, I’m not sure what to do.

I can only remember how MI5 dealt with the problem of Russian spies running riot on Oxbridge campuses in the 1960s. According to Margaret Thatcher’s memoirs, MI5’s solution was to “round up all those queer-people, strap electrodes to their goolies, and the confessions come thick and fast.”

I don’t know how ASIO interrogating Benjamin Law in this way will help disrupt ABC’s sources of perversity, particularly as he was born in Nambour. But I really think it would be worth the effort. For entertainment value. at least.

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Posted in ABC, Benjamin Law, China, Margaret Thatcher | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

August 23, 2019


The Antichrist cast-down

THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS commemorating the expulsion of the great Antichrist from the reins of power and the glorious accession of Scott Morrison to the highest office are already reaching fever pitch. Across the nation, as the momentous day approaches, the bunting is out, bands are playing and neighbourhood street parties are in full swing. At the appointed hour, church bells will be rung nation-wide as a grateful Australia stops to pause, and to remember, just how close they came to being led down the road to a socialist hell.

To cement this extraordinary moment in the annals of history, I’ve messaged ScoMo requesting the 24th August be declared a national holiday. In the interests of the nation, I anticipate a positive response.

Still, the howling, weeping and the gnashing of Leftist teeth continues unabated. Which serves as a reminder to resend to the PM my (post-election) list of Turnbull’s co-conspirators yet to be hunted down, rounded up and shot. That it includes the entirety of the Labor Party’s front bench, a few worthless Greenies, an idiot in a red bandana and the entire readership of The Guardian, still seems to faze him, somewhat.

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Posted in Malcolm Turnbull, ScoMo, Scott Morrison | Tagged , | 1 Comment

August 20, 2019

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Harry and Meghan

THE PLANET IN A DEATH SPIRAL, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge lie awake at night, tossing and turning, agonising over the terrible everyday sacrifices they have to make to continue with the facade that they are not just a pair of self-righteous, virtue-signalling hypocrites.

Agreeing to cease fornicating after their second child was a watershed moment. As was their decision to cut their private Lear-Jet flights to Elton John’s mansion in Castel Mont-Alban down to twice a week. Likewise,  flights to Ibiza for Meghan’s birthday celebrations, a tearful Meghan agrees, could be cut to just one per year. Ditto for all the Royal couple’s flights to the thousands of totally useless climate-change events around the world. One return flight to each, “maximum”, Harry nods. “But what about seeing Al, and Bono and Leo?” Meghan cries. “They can go and fuck themselves,” I suggest, and Harry agrees to that too.

To the question of taking regular flights like everyone else, where Harry and Meghan might find themselves sitting opposite just an ordinary bloke, such as that madman Jeremy Corbyn chanting ‘Death to the blood-sucking sycophants” the entire trip, they were a bit evasive. “The smell of the man would be the worst part,” they agreed, finally.

The Queen (no, Elizabeth, silly, not Elton), in her great wisdom, told Harry that the energy from burning all the trashy magazines Meghan edits, such as Vogue, could save China from building 5,000 new coal-fired power stations this year alone.

And as for her wacko son,  Prince Philip (himself, not dealing with a full deck) exclaims: “If Charles would stop dancing, chanting voodoo and burning incense around that Thunberg effigy of his all day and get back to talking to plants again, the planet might return to normal.”

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Posted in Elton John, Greta Thunberg, Harry and Meghan, Jeremy Corbyn, Prince Philip, The Queen | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

August 18, 2019

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Rudd – Stupid Look

DANIEL ANDREWS’ WEIRD smile reminded me of Gillard’s description of the stupid look on Rudd’s face every time he came out of his private, ‘Think Tank’ room. According to Gillard’s memoirs, far from formulating Labor’s ‘Big Picture’ Policy as he claimed, she suspected he was just having a big wank, and points to the policies Rudd subsequently came up with as proof positive.

Damning evidence that this may be, (‘Shanghai Sam’) Dastyari offers an interesting variant to Gillard’s argument. Dastyari claims that, when Rudd has that completely stupid look on his dial, he’s almost certainly been thinking about all those billions of Chinese women MSS* handlers promised him he will be free to root once they take over.

Whatever the truth about Rudd – Beijing mole, or just a big wanker – only time will tell.

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* (Chinese) Ministry of State Security

Posted in Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Sam Dastyari, Shanghai Sam | Leave a comment

August 17, 2019

Image result for daniel andrews mosqueBendigo Muck-raking

INTERVIEW with the great leader of the Socialist Republic of Victoria, researching tax-fraud. Normally Andrews refuses any audiences with white, heterosexual-normative males who think he’s a complete idiot but a quick flash of my pocket Koran to security and I’m swiftly ushered in.

There, he angrily asks me what the fuck do I want to see him about?
I nervously flip through my notebook. In answer to the first question, of his success in swindling the electorate to vote for him twice in a row, I get this horrible blood-curdling laugh and he says he just can’t wait to do it again.
Next!

Secondly, the Bendigo mosque. The Premier smacks his hands together in glee, shouting ‘Ah!’ before smiling at me weirdly, a strangely satisfied look on his face.

I continue.
How, I ask, does Andrews square the Bendigo mosque go-ahead with Victoria signing up to the Chinese One Belt One Road Initiative? Wasn’t it a pre-condition of Victoria’s surrender to Beijing that, as in Xinjiang, all Muslims were to be immediately rounded up and sterilised to extinction? Doesn’t that mean, therefore, that the mosque is a complete and utterly fraudulent waste of tax-payers’ money? And that we should all be given a refund, forthwith?

The meeting suddenly over, on my way out (on my arse) I manage to hand him one of Phil Nitschke’s cards. Something I do after my meetings with all great socialist leaders. Out of compassion.

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August 16, 2019

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POOR JACINDA. Why anyone gives this hideous woman any exposure, let alone pay any attention to the rubbish that comes out of her mouth is anybody’s guess. Perhaps it’s the sympathy people have for her absurd belief that she should be taken seriously.

Dr. Nitshke once pointed to her readiness to virtue-signal at every opportunity as evidencing some sort of hysteria, and recommended… (some thing or another.) Things like giving birth in high office, then bandying the very noticeably ugly baby about in front of the world’s press; grovelling to political Islam by donning a silly hijab and affecting remorse; dumping the nation’s criminals on Australia, only to have them shipped right back again; talking absolute shit.

All these things are the acts of a hysterical female PM desperately seeking relevance, which she so spectacularly lacks.

Tuvalu’s PM, Enele Sopoaga, once told me that such ‘touched’ women are called Bu-tu-bu-lu (Roughly, ‘idiot woman’) in the local Tuvaluan tongue and they used to be humanely bashed over the head and thrown into the nearest volcano.
Or else, eaten.

With the coming of Christianity all that has long been forgotten, he said. Nowadays, such women are left to babble away incoherently at totally useless forums foisted on Tuvaluans by the white man, while the rest of the women slip away with the men to nearby forests where they can fornicate incessantly without being disturbed.

Posted in Enele Sopoaga, Tuvalu | Tagged , , | 1 Comment