Fatty-Fatty Kill Joy


Lauren Rosewarne (centre) and other queer people

Dear Diary,

Today I asked myself, “What good can I do in the world if I look like a small hippo?”
So many people I see on the telly, who look like me have gone ahead and done something constructive in their lives despite being ‘large‘. How can I get over my full-sized, dyke-like figure and earn great wads of cash at the same time?

I mean, in Australia, there are people like Marise Paine, Kim Beazley and Amanda Vanstone, all of whom at different times ignored having a tub of lard for an ass to make it to the top. Then there is Gina Rinehart and the always-merry Clive ‘Godzilla-Gut’ Palmer who have hauled ass (big-time) all over the country so as to give a lot of people work and earn billions for the country. Not to mention the bubbly Rebel Wilson (she always makes me giggle) and that really funny Melissa McCarthy in the US, and the hilarious Roseanne Barr and John ‘Jumbo-Bum’ Goodman … So many successful fatties, how can I be like them?

Sucks to be me.
Lauren
P.S. But, diary, I don’t want to have to try to lose weight or start wearing a stupid burka. It HAS to be easy.

…………………………………..

Dear Diary,

Today I’ve discovered the answer!!!
And it was from Gillian Triggs herself. She tells me to just get any old stupid degree in some sort of pseudo-social science scam, then apply for a job at the University of Melbourne where they employ thousands of other similarly useless people with similarly useless qualifications. There, they would be happy to pay me a six-figure salary just to sit around on my fat arse all day devising new ways to make everyone else in Australia miserable, like Gillian once did in HR.
That should do it!

Lauren

…………………………………..

Dear Diary,

Exciting news!
I just got a call from Gillian again who gave me a great idea for my PHD thesis.
I could  just cobble together some wacko, post-modernist theories to justify a fat dyke completely ruining the lives and income of hundreds of pretty women at Formula One and Darts events across Australia. You know who I mean, diary: the ones who dare enjoy themselves by walking about wiggling their pretty little, non-lard-like asses all day entertaining mostly male, heterosexual white-bastards.
Now there’s an idea!

If successful, she says, I’ll double my salary. But only if I keep someone she mysteriously refers to as ‘that faerie’ in the Race Commissioners Office happy by making sure no minorities lose their jobs in the process.
Terrific!

Thanks diary! Thanks Gillian!
Lauren

**************************************

Advertisements
Posted in Clive Palmer, Gillian Triggs, Gina Rinehart, Lauren Rosewarne, Tim Il Sung | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Bankrupting BDS Babes

Justine Sachs and Nadia Abu-Shanab
BDS cuties

Good news that the Israeli legal rights group Shurat HaDin is going after a couple of New Zealander BDS feather-brains who helped convince Lorde to cancel her Tel Aviv gig, then were stupid enough to brag about it on social media. Justine Sachs and Nadia Abu-Shanab (above) are being sued under Israel’s 2011 anti-boycott legislation and we can only hope they get their just comeuppance, no matter how sweet they may look.

Bad news is if they are found guilty they’ll only face relatively small financial penalties. More fitting, and a little excessive, I agree, given how hot at least one of them looks, would have been to just take the two of them out with the nearest drone. Admittedly more over the top, but, let’s face it, far more exciting, would have been to follow Israel’s PM Golda Meir’s brilliant idea after the Munich massacre in 1972 to hire Eric Bana to hunt the terrorists down and pick them off in the streets, one by one.

Taking them out in Auckland or wherever, of course, would be far more spectacular and satisfying than Shurat HaDin trying to bankrupt Sachs and Abu-Shanab, but unfortunately such otherwise perfectly reasonable methods are no longer considered politically correct. Additionally, ex-Kiwi Russel Crowe tells me that new female PM they’ve got over there now (who I was told is unfortunately very ugly, like Helen Clark, but still somehow managed to get pregnant, so it can’t be true) would object to her citizens being shot on the streets for no other reason than that she’d then have to suffer a lot of awful foul-breathed Palestinians screaming, ranting and raving at her for the rest of her tenure, which I wouldn’t want to wish on anyone.

Posted in BDS, Helen Clark, Israel, Jacinda Ardern | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Grammy Failure


Lorde
‘Snubbed’

Light a candle in your heart, would you, for Lorde, The Guardian’s latest victim. A little while back, she became one of their heroes because she caved into the Palestinian terrorists and their blood-thirsty, anti-Semitic BDS supporters and decided to cancel her tour to Israel. I’d like to think that Lorde did this out of fear of Muslim violence rather than from being a very stupid person, but I’m not so sure.

Either way, Lorde is now an official Guardian victim.
The reason? Because female performers at The Grammy on the weekend won absolutely zilch. That is, because Lorde (being the only woman nominated in the first place and consequently the only woman who could have won a Grammy) didn’t win, women also didn’t win. True to form, the forever-whingeing Guardian loudly proclaims if Lorde didn’t win, women were therefore snubbed by a male-dominated industry, and are victims once again.

Poor Lorde even went as far as pinning an idiotic excerpt from an idiotic, feminist essay by an idiotic, kindred-spirit feminist favourite of hers to the back of her dress hoping, no doubt, to appeal to all those equally-idiotic Feminists present. Yet, Lorde still didn’t win anything. This obviously made her feel downhearted, instead of recognising herself, quite rightly, as the idiot such idiocy suggests. No doubt all the Guardianistas and assorted luvvies cheering Lorde on were doing so as like-minded, kindred spirits too.

Tragically for her fans, other than an offer for her to participate in the Tom Petty tribute, which she ‘declined’, Lorde was not asked to perform live. This was enough for the Guardian columnist, Anna Livsey, to really lay it on thick, continuing to shed buckets of tears for this petite and very pretty Kiwi imbecile and to rage against the male-dominated music scene. This of course was more politically correct than being honest enough to point out to a Guardian victim that the utter crap she sings and the utterly crappy-whiney way she sings it was clearly to blame.

After her Grammys failure, Lorde wrote a scratchy, barely-legible, semi-illiterate, child-like, straight-out-of-kindergarden-scribbled letter to her fans, thanking them for believing in women musicians. She then had it published it in the NZ Herald, all of which implies that even though Lorde probably wouldn’t know the first thing about Israel, let alone find it on the map, she seems semi-literate at least.

 

Posted in BDS, Lorde, The Grammys | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Australia – Mecca for Muslim Misogyny?


‘Dressing Modestly’
(a.k.a. backdoor-shariah)

Using DFAT to champion Muslim subjugation of women to the world through the Faith, Fashion, Fusion (FFF) program is a national disgrace, and Julie Bishop should be fired. Forthwith.

Allowing any Islamist front group which advocates shariah law (this one masquerading as a warm and fuzzy, boutique ‘modest dress’ fashion house for women) to freely operate in Australia is contemptible enough. Using tax-payer funding to help underwrite its expansion to overseas in order to cash in on the Muslim dollar, is disgraceful. And co-opting DFAT’s money and prostituting its international standing to promote Australia as a Mecca for Muzzie Misogyny is an insult to one and all, demonstrating Bishop’s outrageously amoral indifference to the cause of Australian women and for their long struggle for gender equality.

But what is truly unacceptable is the complete immorality implicit in Bishop’s support for FFF: that Australian women should in any way cover up at all. This perversity proves just how out of touch with the Australian public the Foreign Minister is, for the reality is quite the opposite. Most Australians think there’s something wrong with people who hide inside a bag (no matter how well-designed it may be) on a beach or otherwise and don’t want to see them polluting the otherwise pristine, natural environment. A politician who is happy to fork out cash against the grain clearly has a constituency to answer to, or rich foreign despots, living in rich, foreign, total shit-holes to grovel to.

DFAT throwing tax-payers’ money at FFF and its misogynist ideology borders on treachery, for the hijab, niqab, burka and burkini are entirely un-Australian. In other words, for the average female Aussie, showing only a minimum amount of skin at all times (unless you are just plain, downright ugly) is nothing short of blasphemous.

Heads should roll.
Firstly, the FFF should have its funding withdrawn immediately and their board of directors – and their shareholders (come to think of it) – gaoled. All Muzzie-specific attire should be set ablaze and Burkini designer Aheda Zanetti (for growing rich helping Muslims get around assimilation) deported back to Libya where she came from.

Secondly, Julie Bishop’s head should go – but only in a nice, rhetorical kind of way (I hasten to add.) At the very least, she should be prosecuted for the blatant misappropriation of tax-payers’ money in support of a certain criminal ideology (you know which), for aiding and abetting the enemy (you know who) and, above all, for actively encouraging even more immigrants from certain well-known shit-holes (you know where) to come here in the first place.

Posted in Faith Fashion Fusion, Julie BIshop | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Speaking of Cockroaches

Richard “Dr Death” Natale
(Again)

Another Australia Day successfully over.
Unlike others, though, not surprised at all that the traditional pub cockroach races were afforded less media coverage than the cockroaches marching in Melbourne, Brisbane etc, given their entertainment value. When we have their Queen, Dr Death itself, implying on TV that changing the celebration date will somehow solve all the indigenous health problems overnight, then there is nothing left to do but fall about laughing. Spending billions of dollars on their plight over multiple decades hasn’t solved their problems, so it must be the date of European settlement which is at fault, goes the joke. And it’s a good one.

It’s the same with that feather-brained (but admittedly well-meaning) Pat Cash, who was also part of yesterday’s entertainment. Recently emerging shocked and ‘ashamed’ at what he suddenly discovered in remote communities, Cash on Sky yesterday attempted to rationalise his belief that changing the date will miraculously make it all better. Unsurprisingly, there was no logical argument, recourse instead to emotional drivel; which was implying that poverty and rampant paedophilia in remote communities is caused by celebrating the foundation of the greatest country in the world on the day it was founded instead of on some other date. Changing the date, apparently, will immediately solve the problem and Cash won’t have to feel so ashamed any more. The Sky commentators gave him an easy ride, nevertheless, at no time stopping the interview – even momentarily – to point out what a dickhead he is. But that’s the media for you.

Dr Death’s own panacea for solving the problems of Australia’s indigenous communities goes of course much further than that of Cash. In his TV diatribe, Dr Death was at least honest enough to make clear his other demands, which are for a treaty and constitutional recognition.

But we know that it won’t stop there.
Di Natale and the rest of the rest of his Marxist filth will only truly be satisfied when they get into power and really get to work. When the tables are turned, when a ‘people of colour’ government can set about ensuring the original sin of ‘invasion’ is completely avenged, once and for all, by ensuring the descendants of its perpetrators are held accountable for their forefathers’ so-called crime of invasion, then and only then, when Whitey gets its comeuppance, only then will they be truly happy.

In the Soviet Union, China and Cambodia, class-criminals (not being working-class) were rounded up by the communists, shot, hanged, or shipped off to the gulags, never to be seen again. Given the present-day ceaseless attacks by the Left on Western Civilisation and on all things white heterosexual, will a future Australia one day wake up to something similar? Woken up to the sounds of bullets in the backs of necks, or gallows’ floors clanging open and white necks breaking as the Green commie scourge (for that is what they are) align with their indigenous ‘victims’ in government to exact their terrible revenge against the descendants of anyone to do with the glorious foundation of this great nation of ours? Is it too far-fetched to envision the same reign of terror occuring here as it did in France under Robespierre, and in Russia under Lenin and Stalin?

Or am I being too hysterical and over-the-top here again?
Would it be better, instead, if I reverted to such nonsense as inferring the Race Commissioner is secretly Gay and the like, rather than repeatedly banging on and on about Di Natale being nothing but a hatefilled, poisonous little shit deserving to be stomped upon like a cockroach – or, at the very least, strung up?

(Answers on the back of a postcard.)

Posted in Pat Cash, Richard "Dr Death" Natale, Richard di Natale, The Greens | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Probable Cause


Angela Merkel
“… so let ’em in, liebchen!”

Matteo Salvini’s declaration during an interview on an Italian TV channel that the EU should “go f*ck themselves” was fully-justified and speaks to the hearts of millions. Not that there’s anything new in the idea (i.e., that they should go f*ck themselves), or that the permission for Donald Tusk, Jean-Paul Junker etc. to do so had somehow been previously withheld and they were just waiting for the go-ahead. And not that millions of thoughtful Europeans don’t regularly take time out from their daily lives to ring up or email their local MEP to pointedly say the very same thing.

What’s different is that Salvini may well be Italy’s next leader after the March elections. Naturally, a telling remark like this couldn’t be completely ignored as usual by the mainstream media (who are of course in cahoots with the EU dictatorshp), no matter how toxic it might be.

Coming after Trump’s comments about shithole countries, Salvini’s recommendation to the EU follows in a similar vein the candour of that other great Italian, Silvio Berlusconi. It was Berlusconi, elder statesman, intellectual, bon-vivant and bunga-bunga sex party devotee who, in an incisive interview with Jeremy Paxton in 2014, declared Merkel to be an “un-f**kable lard-arse,” something which CNN and the rest of the lying MSM had managed to play-down and camouflage with their weasily camera angles for years.

This was of course before the very same un-f**kable (and entirely useless, I might add) lard-arse went on to make the decision to out-Hitler Hitler by f**king up Europe forever. What, with her open-borders policy which encouraged all kinds of shit from all kinds of  shithole countries to come over, dump their shit anywhere here “and make yourself at home.” Maybe it was Merkel’s realisation that the burqa had another merit to it – other, that is, than as a handy place to quickly hide your bombs, Kalashnikovs, rocket-launchers and private cocaine cache etc. when the cops come-a-knocking – which changed her mind.

Perhaps Mutti realised that the burqa could also be used to disguise her ugly fat arse; something which (probably) one of her Muslim Brotherhood advisors politely and tactfully pointed out to her when she was giving him the eye during one of her own infamously-raunchy private Reichstag bunga-bunga parties we all read about. Maybe that led her – in a supreme act of stupidity – to believe what her MB mates advised her: that the burqa for the lard-arses of this world was positively brill, and all this multiculturalism/Muzzie scheisse wasn’t so scheisse after all – “so let ’em all in, liebchen!”

Whether or not the burqa had any bearing on her sudden decision to torpedo Europe completely, or whether it was simply because she’s was just completely deranged, chronically afflicted by ‘mad old cow disease’ at the time, we might never know. Perhaps, someday, it’ll come out in her biography.

Posted in Angela Merkel, Matteo Salvini, Muslim Brotherhood, Silvio Berlusconi | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Australia Day: January 26

Jacinta Price
Sensible and a patriot? (Yes)

Most of us have long been in two minds about Australia Day.  That is, not about the date, but about how to best to celebrate it. In traditional ways, such as at a backyard BBQ with family and friends, at the beach, or to stay at home and be entertained by the Internet?

More recently for many, the popular trend has been, at some point in the day, to head for the living room couch with a group of mates and get pissed while watching screamingly-funny YouTube clips. Not of cats, but of complete imbeciles, for example, such as of Yassmin Abdel Maglied demonstrating that she is just that (a complete imbecile) every time she moves her lips; Bill Shorten (on a secret undercover Four Corners doco) being stripped half-naked and repeatedly bitch-slapped by a group of his CFMEU-mafia bosses; or of Sarah Hanson Young crying crocodile tears over the 1200-odd refugees she helped drown.
That sort of thing.
Hilarious.

By way of a change, last year my idea of nation-wide pub contests to find the most entertaining way of mispronouncing Race Commissioner Tim Soutphommasane’s stupid name was enthusiastically taken up. But, no matter how inspired it seemed at the time, few contestants – even when they were sober – could get passed ‘c**t’, or ‘f**king little c**t,’ so the idea fizzled out pretty quickly.

This year, in response to the latest attempts by the usual kill-joys to spoil our fun, I’m proposing the start of an exciting new Aussie tradition. What could be more patriotic for January 26 than to erect life-sized images of vermin like Dr Death Di Natale, Lidia Thorpe, Nick McKim – PLUS that dickhead Pat Cash – around our barbies so that we can (at our leisure) alternatively spit or throw beer cans at them throughout the course of this great day?

And how about – even more exciting – erecting around the foreshores of this great country of ours giant-sized Photo-shopped effigies of these same f***ers together with their families standing before a firing squad (or, optionally, with their heads in a noose) to remind us of just how traitors and very stupid people like Cash would have been dealt with had the Russians or the French in 1770 gotten here ahead of Cook? Then at midnight, to complement the fireworks, and to the strains of that immortal old Bing Crosby hit, ‘Burn, Yah F***ing Bastards, Burn,’ giant bonfires could be lit under the billboards, engulfing the effigies in flames, making for a truly spectacular and unforgettable end to the day.

Here is a heaven-sent, golden opportunity to showcase an emotional outpouring of Aussie national pride: a magnificent sight for the entire world to see, wouldn’t you think?

Of course the Russians, who have always shown themselves to be far more enlightened than Anglo-Saxons when it comes to defending their culture, would have mounted a show-trial before the executions, possibly with a de-testiculation of some sort thrown in somewhere along the line. (In reality, however, The Greens being a virtual testosterone-free zone would have made the latter highly improbable.)

In such a case, watching Pat Cash (ideally) having his face smashed in by the KGB/FSB instead – or by anybody else, for that matter – would have been just as entertaining, and  would have gone a long way towards compensation for having being forced to drink vodka and eat borscht all Australia Day instead of beer and prawns. Though (having eaten borscht myself) probably not compensation enough.

Fortunately, Australia wasn’t settled by the Russians, or the French. Equally fortuitous, we have sensible indigenous patriots such as Jacinta Price who recognise that things could have been infinitely worse if some other country had beaten the British to it, and so backs moving on and keeping Australia Day as it is, instead of caving into the filthy Leftist nation-state wrecking-ball.

Unfortunately, though, Jacinta diplomatically dismisses Cash’s vapid virtual-signalling as ‘ill-informed’, failing to dismiss him as the ridiculous pea-brain that he is. But in the spirit of her ‘Save Australia Day’ crusade, I’m happy to forgive Jacinta and do the job for her (see previous sentence), even if she doesn’t completely share my entirely laudable Russophile sensibilities.

Posted in Jacinta Price, Lidia Thorpe, Nick McKim, Pat Cash, Russia, Tim Soutphommasane | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ravishing-Red – Not Burqa-Black

Blanca Blanco
Defiant

The smartest and the most sensibly dressed at The Golden Globes award of course was Blanca Blanco (above). Virtually the only woman to defy the hypocritical Left’s latest wave of hysteria by breaking their Taliban-inspired dress code of burqa-black, she boldly fronted the stage in gorgeous red, showing herself to be not just the hottest one in the room, but also the smartest.

My guess is that most of the remainder choosing to go along with this idiotic charade, as demanded by the feminazis pushing their post-Weinstein witch-hunt, did so out of the usual ditsiness common among Western liberals That is, the ditsy, group-think mush that compels the vacuous to virtue-signal their support for every Leftist cause going because having an alternative point of view is too much of a challenge for them. The suggestion that demanding the wearing of black to help thwart male sex assaults may not be too far removed from Islamist doctrine is beyond their comprehension. Particularly as an understanding of it would first require of them to learn how to read.

To be fair, some of the smarter ones at the Golden Globes were just quietly humouring the likes of the smug, self-important Meryl Streep et al (who continue to pretend they didn’t know about Weinstein). They went along with this dress-code absurdity, signalling their solidarity with the hypocrisy of this half-baked Liberal cause for one night only, so long as it was just burqa-black and not the burqa itself (the feminazis’ secret future ideal, I suspect), just to keep their careers on track. Caving into Leftist political pressure is now run of the mill in America, particularly in California. Biting your tongue, towing the liberal’s latest line of lunacy, for many, is the difference between having, or not having a job.

Blanca Blanco was one of the very few a the Global Globes Awards night who had the courage to make a public stand. Refusing to follow the rest of the sheep, instead dressing in ravishing red, maintaining the dignity of her independence, defiantly proud to be a woman, she showed the leftist elites up for what they are: sanctimonious, self-righteous hypocrites.

Posted in Blanca Blanco, Hollywood | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Multicultural Criminal

Daniel Andrews
Wait to November to boot him out, or string him up now?

Plan A: Try dumping a whole shit-load of garbage from some distant third-world hell-hole on suburban Melbourne and hope no-one would notice. The usual group-hugging and singing Kumbaya all the while is likely to help.
Fail.

Next, try Plan B:
If the said garbage resort to their natural jungle instincts of rioting and trashing the place when they can’t get enough free white-mans’ stuff, inspire them to become instantaneously civilised in other ways. That is, make a few token arrests, and rely on the leftist-dominated judiciary to hand out minimum sentences, thereby signalling to black-Africans that they are more valuable contributors to society than the rich white racist bastards whose neighbourhoods they are trashing. Bolster this with government flunkies citing bare-faced lies (leftist statistics) denying third-world migrant crime spikes. Broadcast a fawning SBS TV apologia for Sudanese criminals implying that white vigilantes are the ones to blame.

And that should about do it.
And, what, with Tim Il Sung – a.k.a Tim Such-a-stupid-name – ever watchful that no-one (looking at his newly trashed neighbourhood) dared to suggest that the term ‘fucking black savages’ epithet would be entirely appropriate under the circumstances, everything should be just hunky-dory.
Fail.

Now try Plan C.
Unfortunately for civilised Australians, Plan C, is not to take inspiration from the Chinese (à la Tiananmen) and just shoot the bastards on the streets. Nor is it to immediately deport the gangs along with their families back to the South-Sudanese shit-hole where they came from (à la my mother). Nor, unfortunately, does Plan C include – either in the shooting or in the deporting – that other Sudanese barbarian, Yassmin Barking-Mad Muzzie Maglied, should she ever dare to set foot on our golden shores again. Which I think anyone with an ounce of decency would agree is a crying shame.

No, for the multicultural criminal Daniel Andrews and his sicko, cultural Marxist side-kicks (a.k.a., the Victorian Government) their Plan C offers no such satisfaction. Instead, it involves spending great wads of tax-payers’ money deploying more riot police on Melbourne’s one time (pre-Andrews) relatively peaceful (i.e., relatively-white) streets. That is, squandering millions in a desperate attempt to cover up the immediate consequences of their criminal multicultural enterprise which, we all should know by now, is to unwhiten Australia.

But you can be assured that, whatever plan Andrews reverts to next, continuing with the pretence that he in any way gives a flying fuck about anyone who is neither black, a Muslim or a sexual pervert of some kind (much less about any of their property that’s being trashed) will be part of it.

If there ever was a convincing case for political asylum, Victorians now have it.

Posted in Daniel Andrews, Mad Muzzie Maglied, Tim Il Sung, Tim Soutphommasane, Victoria, Yassmin Abdel-Magied | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Beijing Bob

Bob Carr
‘Sino-suckhole?’ (Yes.)

Bob Carr’s pathetic efforts to deny that he is a Beijing political glove-puppet continued in The Australian yesterday with his article ‘Seven Steps to Tame Fears Over China.’  I say ‘article’, more like ‘vaudeville’ because anyone with the slightest knowledge about WWII would have found themselves falling about laughing at Step 1, with Carr’s ludicrous assertion about China’s role in WWII.

In this, his latest piece of fake news (for that is what it is), Beijing Bob (aspiring comedian) wants to have us believe the absurdity that the scale of China’s war effort against the Japanese was on par with that of the Soviet Union’s against the Nazis. That was the first obscene joke. The second obscenity, that Australians should be somehow grateful to China’s present-day commie government for helping to save us from the Japanese, was also an insult to the intelligence, and illustrated just how far stuck up Beijing’s arse Bob Carr has thus far managed to get.

After that one, anything written or spoken by Carr can never be taken seriously. Unless you happen to be a potential donor recipient type; that is a Dastyari, a Robb or a Rudd, to name but a few similar Sino-suckholes. In such a case, justification for publicly parroting the Beijing party line in return for having your pockets lined with great wads of Chinese dough is always going to be difficult to come by. For that reason, Bob Carr’s warped history lesson might just prove to be useful. (Just as, say, murdering your mother, might prove useful.)

If you swallowed the first bulls**t for what it is (complete bulls**t), it would be a simple matter  to go along with Carr’s remaining six steps to help ‘stop fearing and to start lovin’ communist China.’ These include over-looking their blatant political interference and infiltration of our education institutions, ignoring their coercion of democratic Chinese students on our campuses, accepting their military expansion in the South China Sea, and dumping our support for Taiwan.

Another imperative, unstated by Carr, but written between the lines, entails going along with all of this in your happy way without stopping once to notice what a despicably rotten little traitor you’ve become.

But, to quote Daffy Duck: “Consequences, schmonsequences – so long as I’m rich.”

Right?

Posted in Beijing Bob, Bob Carr, China | Tagged , , | Leave a comment