Duterte to Westpac: Try Brunei

Image result for duterte President Rodrigo Duterte

26th November
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In Manila to find out first-hand whether claims that Westpac used 23 million fake transactions and money-laundering to protect Aussie paedophile rings are true. (Or something like that.)

Everywhere you look, the sacking of Drug Tsar, Leni Robredo, is headline news. The number of extra-judicial killings of drug traffickers on her watch has plummeted dramatically to just 10,000 per month, far short of Duterte’s bottom-line of 50,000. So out she goes. Imelda Marcos, herself now dead, could have easily doubled that figure.

Inside Malacañang Palace, the internationally-acclaimed President Duterte proudly shows me a copy of his brilliant denunciation of Obama as “that Pansy of Colour.” We all have a good laugh about that one because it was rather witty. After that, he has me in stitches reminiscing about his Moro* head-hunting days in southern Mindanao before ISIS came along and ruined everything. In his trophy room, we have fun playing carpet bowls with a a few of his favourites for a while, until it was time to turn to the serious subject of paedophilia.

The President, a strong Catholic, declares he can no longer turn a blind eye to the matter and Westpac will just have to advise their Aussie paedo customers to look elsewhere. Brunei, he suddenly exclaims, Try Brunei! Then, leaning over with a mischievous smile, whispers: the Sultan didn’t declare Sharia Law there for nothing.

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* Separatists. (Yes, Muslim)

Posted in Brunei, Drug Trafficking, Moros, Obama, Paedophiles, President Duterte, The Philippines, Westpac | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shag-Not-Alot

Image result for sarah hanson-youngSarah Hanson-Young (blubbering again)

25th November
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TREMENDOUS NEWS TODAY for Sarah Hanson-Young. The courts have ruled that she’s not a shameless slut after all, or just a cheap tart, and that David Leyonhjelm owes her $120,000 in damages. Also good news for me. The decision fully vindicates my cautionary use of the term ‘Shagalot’ when referring to SHY in my blogs (all of them), just in case the courts declared Leyonhjelm’s insinuation unjustified.

Interestingly, in his recent diary Bob Brown relates how under this new extinction-rebellion regime, once Greens members are officially notified that they are all soon going to die, they immediately start wailing and screeching hysterically before falling upon each other and shagging themselves senseless. Worryingly, this has now become common practice once their meetings are declared open, “because it feels so good” says Bob.

According to Bob, The Greens’ core leadership, including SHY, try to refrain from such behaviour.  Most of them having taken a vow of celibacy and quiet devotion to the Earth Mother, Gaia, in the devout hope that she spares them from being ruthlessly exterminated along with the rest of us in the great, fiery holocaust that’s soon to come.

Posted in Bob Brown, David Leyonhjelm, Gaia, Sarah Hanson-Young | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Donate Here

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/42/Zali_Steggall_official_campaign_image.jpgZali Steggall
Fossil Fuel-Guzzling Hypocrite?

22nd November
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A TERRIBLE NIGHT lying awake thinking about the desperate plight of poor Zali Steggall. She still can’t afford to buy an electric vehicle on her meagre $500,000 a month parliamentary salary and worries about the consequences of reneging on her promise to the Climate-Change Mobsters. In an exclusive TV interview, she expresses teary-eyed remorse for lying to her constituents in order to kick Tony Abbott out, and fears that she’ll soon be gunned down in the streets by some deranged, extinction-rebellion maniac if she hasn’t dumped her SUV and be at the seat of a brand-new EV by Christmas.

In the spirit of forgiveness, I decide to lend my support. Outside her Warringah offices I set up a charity stall with a large box and the banner: “Help Zali Prove By Christmas That She’s Not A Lying, Fossil Fuel-Guzzling Hypocrite: Donate Here.”

After one week, the results are better than I could hope for. Aside from one used condom and an empty packet of Rice Crispies, there are only lumps of coal: heaps of coal. The tradition that naughty children only get coal in their Christmas stockings is probably not new to Steggall, so the irony should be obvious.
Meantime, Christmas draws near…

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Pre-Emptive Strike?

Image result for al-hawl
Al-Hawl, N.E Syria

18th November
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BACK IN SYDNEY, greatly disappointed to hear that Israel has suspended it’s bombing in Gaza. Surely the body count is far too low?

Before I can get my letter of complaint off to the Israeli Ambassador, they start bombing the hell out of Gaza again, lifting my spirits and putting a spring in my step. Switching their bombing to include Iranian military targets in Syria as well, and the week brightens up again.

Then comes Trump’s brilliant decision to legitimise Jewish West Bank settlements. I’m over the moon. Even though there was no bombing involved, it’s cause for celebration: champagne-breakfast on the terrace. But Mahmoud Abbas denounces Trump’s decision as a ‘war-crime’, sending me into an uncontrollable fit of the giggles and the toast is ruined.

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20th November
Glancing through news at breakfast I see that ISIS has formed a mini-caliphate within the Al-Hawl ‘refugee’ camp: seventy-odd thousand of the fuckers, still determined to kill us all. And that neo-Ottoman prick (Erdogan) is starting to send some of them back to where they came from …

And I ask myself (between mouthfuls of Eggs Benedict and burnt toast), why doesn’t Trump take a leaf out of the Israeli book and execute a pre-emptive strike on Al-Hawl before ISIS is unleashed on the world again? A precision strike by the Americans, using napalm, 500-pound bunker busters, barrel-bombs, a bunch of hellfire missiles and stacks of cluster-bombs. That should do it.

No need to worry about a Muslim backlash, of course, as Waleed Aly and his wife, Susan, have repeatedly assured us that “ISIS has nothing to do with Islam.” So 1.8 billion Muslims should be totally cool with the idea – wouldn’t you think?*

The only ones likely to object to removing 70,000 psychopaths and their families from the face of the earth in one fell-swoop would be their equally-psychotic supporters on the Left, such as the emotionally wrought and professional dumb person, Senator Nick McKim, who is a big girl’s blouse as well, by the way.

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* No.

 

Posted in Al-Hawl, Bomb the fuckers, Donald Trump, Eggs Benedict, Gaza, Iran, ISIS, Islamophobia, Israel, Mahmoud Abbas, Nick McKim, Palestinians, Recep Erdogan, Susan Carland, Syria, Waleed Aly | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Randy-Andy

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20th November
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OF COURSE it’s no secret that Prince Andrew has followed in the footsteps of his now demented father, bonking everything with a skirt in sight just as soon as he could walk. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to see him declare that bonking the delicious, but under-aged Aussie tart, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, would have been somehow “unbecoming” and that he’d decided he’d be much better off spending the entire night somwhere else stuffing his face with pizza.

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On the royal tour of The Royal Christchurch Institute of Horticulture with NZ’s hideous PM. Andrew’s gormless brother, Prince Charles, deftly parries reporters’ questioning about the Epstein matter. When I delicately attempt a more subtle approach (”Your Highness, whaddya think about that lyin’, connivin’, Randy-Andy-paedo brother of yours, hey???”), the Prince politely ignores me, turning to strike up a conversation with a nearby plant instead. Which is his wont.

That the plant happens to be a vegetable and that his royal fruit-cake (yes: our future King) pointedly addresses it as ‘Jacinta’, is a cause of much discomfort. When he asks it, “Are you a Muzzie, too?” all hell breaks loose.

Camilla quickly intervenes and bundles the dotty Prince out of the room, leaving the PM hugging tightly to her personal, portable prayer-mat, looking all flustered and embarrassed. Meantime, Winston Peters, personal advisor on all NZ matters horticultural to the Prince, looks on, openly amused, a mischievous smile stretching from ear to ear.

 

 

Posted in Jacinda Ardern, Jeffrey Epstein, Prince Andrew, Prince Charles, Winston Peters | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Behrouz Boochani

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Behrouz Boochani

IN CHRISTCHURCH to welcome the arrival of the Kurdish-Iranian author Behrouz Boochani from PNG. After six long years of failing to con Australian public opinion with his Manus Island fairy-tale  ‘No Friends But The Luvvies’, the government has decided to let him try flogging it to the Kiwis.

Along with me in the terminal is a small crowd of mostly hysterical women. Columnists for the The Guardian, one presumes. They wave placards bearing Boochani’s portrait and perform weird dances while loudly spouting the usual nonsense about refugees being normal human beings like the rest of us. To blend in, I carry a large portrait-placard of Dr Kerryn Phelps with the whopping lie ‘I’m Not a Silly, Virtue-Signalling Quack’ emblazoned across it, and repeatedly swivel my eyes and scratch my armpits incessantly.

When Boochani finally makes his appearance, the women all rush forward enthusiastically to throw flowers and to hug and shower him with kisses, which is all quite strange since, to my mind, he closely resembles some kind of rock-ape. Did he always look like that, I wonder? I’m not quite sure. Perhaps it’s down to the weather on Manus, that he looks such a complete wreck, or due to all that indiscriminate buggery that goes on each time Nick McKim pays a visit.

Posted in Behrouz Boochani, Dr. Kerryn Phelps, Nick McKim | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

At Home With The ABC

Related imageOsman Faruqi
Journalist/Jihadist?*

Osman Faruqi’s deranged crusade/jihad* to rid Australia of the white race once and for all gathers pace. At first it was the public sunscreen debates, which he reasoned was ‘evidence that white Australians don’t belong here’ and, presumably, why they should all fuck off. Then it was (to Yassmin Mad-Abdel Magied): “The white people are getting f..ked Yas, it’s happening”. Now, tweets Faruqi, the Pakistan-born, ABC-appointed journalist/jihadist* hack and self-styled dickhead, the national acclaim for Australia’s Melbourne Cup-winning horse is another nail in the coffin of the white abomination.

Given the evident psychotic nature of the tweets from this poor, one sick individual, is it any wonder why I recommended the ABC hire him in the first place? It was either that, or risk him being snatched up by the Greens where he would be, like his ridiculous mother Mehreen, subject to ridicule for the rest of his life. Or, more likely, risk being locked away somewhere along with a lot of other mad people where rich retirees with nothing better to do would be regularly bussed in to come and point and poke at him with a stick. As it turned out, coming from a complete shit-hole like Pakistan, the ABC welcomed him with open arms.

And, lucky for him.
Having to leave a West-hating country full of Muzzies where genital-mutilation, child-prostitution, gang-rape, blowing people up, marrying your sister and buggering your neighbour’s goat are actively encouraged, there wasn’t much for Faruqi to look forward to in Australia. It must have been exceedingly depressing.

Now, at the ABC, amongst like-minded inmates, Faruqi would be feeling completely at home. Especially after watching those lunatic women on Q&A last Monday.

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* You decide – I can’t make up my mind.

Posted in Osman Faruqi, Pakistan, Q&A, Sarah Hanson-Young, The ABC, The Greens, Yassmin Abdel-Magied | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nobel Peace Prize

Image result for jacinda ardern
Jacinda Ardern

The Noble Peace Prize going to someone no-one’s ever heard of, rejecting both of the two front-runners, might seem puzzling. On the one hand you have a white, deeply-disturbed, teenage mental-case from Sweden; on the other, a white, hyper-virtue-signalling super-luvvie from New Zealand. Both candidates, you would think, have impeccable credentials, despite their obvious white privilege.

Not the case.
With regards to Thunberg, ignoring the advice and example of the millions of her world-wide supporters and refusing point-blank to glue herself to the podium immediately after her speech to the UN is what ruined it for her. Not having the courage of her convictions was never going to offset her white-privilege in the eyes of the selection committee, no matter how lefty-loopy she is. Stapling her head to the UN floor, I contend, would have been even more convincing, but she rejected that idea too. This, despite my incessant lobbying, long phone-calls, sending flowers, boiled sweets, etc. (The ungrateful little brat.)

While we’re on the subject, if ‘The Crazy One’ ever comes to Australia to spout more of her hysteria, a similar act of conviction should be a prerequisite to qualify for a visa. Stapling her head to a suitable object (such as Adam Bandt’s dunny door), would be sufficient for most of us. Suspending upside down beneath the Harbour Bridge during the New Year’s Eve’s fireworks would be a perfectly reasonable alternative. We should all lobby Peter Dutton and insist on nothing less.

As for Ardern missing out on the prize, sucking up to the committee by banning guns and doubling NZ’s refugee intake was pathetic. A virtue-signalling super-luvvie who dons the hijab occasionally, desperate to have her white-privilege overlooked, has to be more creative if she wants to win next year’s Nobel.

And it’s my belief, to be a shoe-in for the prize, Jacinda should build on her previous form, taking it to its next logical step. That is, she should slap on the hijab once again and – while simultaneously streaming live to the Internet –  give birth over and over again, while repeatedly reciting the Shahada, over and over again. Only that, and that alone, will get her across the line in 2020.

Posted in Greta Thunberg, Jacinda Ardern | Tagged , | 1 Comment

August 25, 2019

Image result for benjamin lawBenjamin Law

ALLOWING OUR UNIVERSITIES TO BE OVERRUN by Chinese hordes is a good thing, according to Minister for Education, Dan Tehan, but I’m not convinced.

The least concerning is that the majority of them readily confess on camera to being members of China’s secret police. What troubles me more is that many bear more than a passing resemblance to Benjamin Law, the repulsive, hate-rape advocate and the ABC’s preferred source of depraved content for its depraved children’s programs.

As ASIO has recently revealed that the ABC is using our university campuses as recruiting grounds for its perverse agenda to indoctrinate our children, it’s time for action.
However, I’m not sure what to do.

I can only remember how MI5 dealt with the problem of Russian spies running riot on Oxbridge campuses in the 1960s. According to Margaret Thatcher’s memoirs, MI5’s solution was to “round up all those queer-people, strap electrodes to their goolies, and the confessions come thick and fast.”

I don’t know how ASIO interrogating Benjamin Law in this way will help disrupt ABC’s sources of perversity, particularly as he was born in Nambour. But I really think it would be worth the effort. For entertainment value. at least.

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Posted in ABC, Benjamin Law, China, Margaret Thatcher | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

August 23, 2019


The Antichrist cast-down

THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS commemorating the expulsion of the great Antichrist from the reins of power and the glorious accession of Scott Morrison to the highest office are already reaching fever pitch. Across the nation, as the momentous day approaches, the bunting is out, bands are playing and neighbourhood street parties are in full swing. At the appointed hour, church bells will be rung nation-wide as a grateful Australia stops to pause, and to remember, just how close they came to being led down the road to a socialist hell.

To cement this extraordinary moment in the annals of history, I’ve messaged ScoMo requesting the 24th August be declared a national holiday. In the interests of the nation, I anticipate a positive response.

Still, the howling, weeping and the gnashing of Leftist teeth continues unabated. Which serves as a reminder to resend to the PM my (post-election) list of Turnbull’s co-conspirators yet to be hunted down, rounded up and shot. That it includes the entirety of the Labor Party’s front bench, a few worthless Greenies, an idiot in a red bandana and the entire readership of The Guardian, still seems to faze him, somewhat.

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Posted in Malcolm Turnbull, ScoMo, Scott Morrison | Tagged , | 1 Comment